The past four articles by me, in addition to my posting up of the Atlantic’s piece, “The End of Men”, has elicited a great deal of responses, both online and off. Among them, are the concerns on the part of many Men, quite a few who now find themselves in the midst of the Great Mancession, as to how they will navigate the choppy waters that is the first decade of the third millennium. They are unsure of their place and role, in the Brave New World that beckons, in some cases, downright fearful of the portents of what some call the New Girl Order. This post then, will attempt to offer one Man’s take on how Humanity’s Y chromosome carriers, can survive and in many cases, even thrive in our times, and the times ahead.
To do that, let us consider the hit film and Oscar winning “Training Day”, starring Denzel Washington, and Ethan Hawke…
For those who haven’t seen the movie, the premise centers around a day in the life of LAPD NARC Detective Alonzo Harris, and his green trainee, Jake Hoyt. Harris gets Hoyt’s feet wet in the world of deep cover drugs trade work-and what he teaches young Hoyt, you don’t learn in the Academy.
Among other things, Harris teaches Hoyt that you *have to use your head out on the streets*, that its better to outthink your opponent, than to out-muscle them. Besides, as Harris notes, the years following the Rodney King and OJ trials and the like, have placed additional constraints on the Boys in Blue; we have to be quite crafty in coming up with ways to get around said constraints. When Harris asks how good is Hoyt’s Espanðl, and Hoyt responds in the negative, Harris admonishes him to “learn that shit; these guys are plotting all kinds of shit out here”.
Harris demonstrates a keen understanding of both the Law of the Land and the Code of the Streets, AND he does it all with a kind of sexiness that makes Women melt. It will serve Today’s Guy well to study this film.
As it has been already noted, it is all but impossible for guys in our time to get over with what our dads and grand dads did. We have to be more saavy, more aware, and more fluid in how we meet the demands of our environment. Besides, we’re not able to do what our forebears did, if for no other reason than it is no longer legally feasible to do so. You can’t go upside a gal’s head, or even yell at her, without running the serious risk of being locked up for a very long time. The point is, as Harris noted, that mere brawn/muscle simply ain’t gonna get it anymore; instead, you gotta use your head.
This means, as Harris showed above, that you gotta understand the rules of the game if you plan to win. The first place you gotta start, is with the Law. Learn not only the Constitution, but all that came before it. In that case, that means British Common Law, and before that, the Magna Carta. For example, do you know what the Magna Carta is, and why it remains so very important today? What is the basis of British Common Law-the legal system extant throughout the Anglosphere and beyond? Why is the US Constitution so very important-and unique-in world history?
Trust me when I tell you fellas, all my nights spent burning the midnight oil reading up on all this has paid off, bigtime. I’ve beaten court cases because of it. Someone remind me to discuss it sometime.
Next, learn what the laws are specifically wrt Family Court issues, which extend to child custody, domestic partner violence and abuse, alimony and palimony, and paternity rights. What does the law say wrt say, rape allegations? Does your state have a “rape shield law”? Do they administer rape kit tests on the accuser? Some states are more amenable to Men in particular than others-study what those laws are in your home state, and then consider those in the surrounding tristate area. If those laws are more favorable to you than where you are, seriously consider moving there-and whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to be fooled by the Conservative/Liberal thing. Just because a state is “Red” doesn’t necessarily mean that its good for you, as a Man; and just because a state is “Blue” doesn’t necessarily mean that its stacked against you either. Your personal self-interest is what is key here, not blind political ideology. Always remember that.
Next, learn Game. Learn it. Learn it well enough so that you got the basics down pat: Social Proof, Negs, Peacocking, Body Language-and this is something that isn’t normally mentioned but should be-know how to fuck. Seriously. Women have never, and will never, have much trouble getting a Man into her bed-but there is a caveat. For one thing, she has no way of knowing, for certain, that he’ll be good in bed; and second, everytime a Woman opens her legs for a Man, she also opens herself up to the very real possibility of STDs, including Herpes and HIV. Women contract STDs at a rate of roughly two to one to Men-so Women are really taking a gamble all the way around here. Trust me when I tell you, no sane Woman (kinda sorta an oxymoron, I know, LOL) wants to lose a guy who knows his way around the bedroom if she can help it, because she knows just how hard it is to find a replacement, all things being equal, of course. For Women, dicks are a dime a dozen; but a bona fide Woodsman is golden.
Therefore, among your Game learning, you need to be learning stuff like the Kama Sutra and the Perfumed Garden. You need to understand Women’s anatomy better than they do, and how to play it like a virtuoso.
A huge part of Game lay in role reversal-the best seducers are those who simply reverse roles with Women. This has already begun to manifest on the macro scale, with the Mancession and Women’s gains really gaining apace. But that’s only a part of the matter; another big part of it is psychological. Study your The Art of Seduction, and you’ll see what I mean.
Learn to unlearn old, ossified, and truly outdated notions of Manhood. If there’s one major stumbling block for Men overall, this is it. Notice how those guys who are more fluid with their masculinity tend to also do well with Women? That’s not for nothing, chief. Those guys do better than the prototypical hard rock, because they signal *complexity*-and Women LOVE complexity. So, if you’re one-dimensional, dead it: you need to diversify your personality portfolio. What do you know about literature? Art? Music? If you don’t know much, learn it. You don’t have to be a master of all trades here, just to have a good basic grounding. This is hugely important. The degree to which you can demonstrate complexity, will determine your potential success in the Brave New World.
Moreover, challenge yourself to question the conventional wisdom of what makes a Man, a Man. This should be fun, since Women seem all too quick to tell Men what “a real Man is”. Put it to the test-challenge them to define it, and if they can pass said test. Now, this will depend in large part on what you’ve done in your own life, but just to give you an idea, I’ll give you glimpse of how I would handle such a charge:
“*Sly grin*: Hmm. Well, let’s see-I know what it’s like to kill what I eat, and not with a gun either-with a bow & arrow. The whole of my working life-which extends back to when I worked under my dad when I was knee-high to a grasshopper-was one where I produced real goods and services, not just for myself, but for others. People ate because of me. I’ve done my duty per the Good Book and buried both my parents and grandparents-literally. I’ve seen Men die, held a few in my arms in their final moments. I’ve protected my family from threats, been shot at, have walked among thieves, murderers, rapists, druglords. I’ve led Men in the business world, and have taught other Men how to read. I’ve known the phrase, if you don’t work, you don’t eat, in spades, and have lived out on the bricks when things got bad. I know what its like to work from can’t see in the morning till can’t see at night, six days a week, in the snow and heat, for years, without fanfare or complaint-and if something goes down, right now, I know how to handle myself. When that great getting’ up morning comes when you can say you’ve done any of the above, holla back. We’ll talk. In the meantime though, I have nothing to prove to you or anyone else. Trust me when I tell you madam, that I know a heck of a lot more about what it means to be a Woman, than you will ever know what it means to be a Man.”
Ball’s back in her court.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again because it bears repeating: this is an excellent time for Men to reinvent themselves, *on their own terms*. Never before have we had such an opportunity, and it is not at all certain that it will happen again. Carpe Diem, my Brothers-the World is waiting on you.
NOTE FOR THE LADIES: If you find yourself becoming a bit unsettled by what I have said above, simply consider the following-it is there for the benefit of the Men in your lives too. Your sons and grandsons, your brothers and nephews. Surely, you want them to have the means to protect themselves, yes?
Now adjourn your asses…
