As I suspected, Benjamin Barnes, the veteran who shot and killed a ranger in Mt. Rainier National Park and then ran off into the woods, losing his own life shortly thereafter, was upset about a custody issue. After you’ve been through it yourself, it isn’t all that hard to recognize these things.

It seems Barnes was not the best-behaved young man, but evidently not an irredeemable criminal or anything of that sort. After completing a tour in Iraq, he was discharged from the army for DUI and transporting a private weapon (i.e. he had his own gun in the car, which is prohibited on base). He had struggled in school while younger, and likely thought the army would be a way for him to begin anew, so it must have been quite a disappointment when he was kicked out.

In the case of psychologically fragile young men, like Barnes, a disputed custody case is often enough to effectively ruin their lives, and at that age it can be very difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Following DV allegations by the girlfriend, who claimed he had PTSD and once drew a knife and threatened suicide, he was ordered to have only supervised visitation with his baby daughter. We don’t know whether the girlfriend was telling the truth or not, but Pierce County Sheriff spokesman Ed Troyer contradicted her claims that Barnes had PTSD, effectively calling her a liar.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter whether a woman is telling the truth — her mere accusation is almost always enough, especially when the man doesn’t have a lawyer representing him, to obtain a supervised visitation ruling. Apparently, in Barnes’ case it was also enough to force him to take DV classes, which, because they are punitive in nature (not to mention expensive — the cost falls on the attendee), should never be ordered without a conviction.

Naturally, his life fell apart after the summer ruling, he lost his apartment (the accompanying child support order is likely what put him on the street), then his job, and he grew increasingly despondent. His friends, Lucio Garcia and Junior Juarez, clarified the situation for the Seattle Times reporter:

“When I first met him he was very respectful, a good guy,” said Junior Juarez, 22, who said he considered Barnes his best friend. “But everything just got to him. Life got so hard. He was so stressed. He would say, ‘I feel like nobody’s trying to help me. I feel like everybody’s against me.’ ”

Another friend, Lucio Garcia, said, “He was going through a lot. He didn’t even have a roof over his head.”

Juarez said he tried to help, inviting Barnes to stay at his house, but he refused.

“He just kept telling me how bad he felt, especially about his baby,” Juarez said.

They last spoke on New Year’s Eve. Juarez invited him to a party near Tacoma. Barnes declined.

What happened next, Juarez said he still can’t process.

“I don’t understand it,” Juarez said.

Hopefully, Junior Juarez never will come to understand it. I do, and it’s a damn shame. It wouldn’t surprise me to find out that Barnes himself came from a broken family, which would complete the circle of tragedy.

The point isn’t to excuse Barnes for murder; that is a crime no sane society can tolerate. But what we can do is try to prevent incidents like this, and one way to do so is to eliminate the high-pressure tactics in custody cases, which are resorted to a lot more frequently than most people realize. We need to take away the incentive for women to use the full force of the court against their children’s fathers to secure a favorable custody and child support order. Obviously, most men won’t lash out like Barnes, but the damage the current system does is incalculable, and some will.

It’s time for the courts and policymakers to start listening to men who have been through it themselves, and stop sweeping the problem under the rug.