One of the most common insults hurled at men who have a problem with the family law regime as it’s set up today is that they are simply “whining.” It’s a typical insult, and one might expect it from feminists, but the odd thing is that a whole lot of men use it as well. I’d say these men fall into three camps:
(1) The head-in-the-sand men who are clinging to the illusion that there’s something inherently worthy about civil marriage as it exists in the West today.
First, a clear distinction needs to be made between contemporary civil marriage and traditional marriage. There was a great deal of value in traditional marriage. It was crucial for the success of our civilization. However, the sham that passes for marriage today is a far, far cry from that. For some reason, a very large number of men can’t seem to grasp this simple concept, and resort to shaming and insults whenever anyone undermines their noble – if wrong-headed – ideals.
Certainly, traditional marriage still exists, but not in law. It is solely a cultural practice that is sadly slipping away year after year.
When men who have seen the light for one reason or the other (most of us after getting burned very badly), go after “marriage,” they are not talking about salt of the earth pioneer couples striving together to raise a family and wealth from the ground up. Rather, they are attacking a cynical set of laws designed to force men into penury to maximize tax revenue and minimize social spending on women who made poor or wicked choices in life. Of course, that isn’t even taking legal and court fees into account.
The men who don’t understand this tend to see criticism of marriage as an excuse to live a libertine lifestyle, griping from cads and, importantly, a repudiation of their own sacrifices for family. However, it is no such thing. Most of us, despite the invective that results from getting the shaft, have a nostalgic, positive attitude toward the old-fashioned institution. Some reject even that, to be sure, but there have always been men going their own way, and they have always had their place in society and out; we’d be a far poorer people without them.
(2) Men who directly profit from the family law regime/feminized society.
It should hardly need to be mentioned, but the attorneys, social workers, politicians and counselors who have a financial stake in the status quo are perfectly willing to disparage men — for a fee or a favor.
Politicians will gladly throw fathers and husbands to the wolves for the female vote, lawyers will stand up in front of judges and smear them for a share of the wealth their wives stand to gain, and marriage counselors, Dr. Phil, etc. will perform the psychological equivalent of “pelvic massage” for female clients/audiences.
When such men throw insults around, all one needs to remember is that they are being paid to perform; they are essentially turning tricks for the female public.
(3) Lesbians trapped in men’s bodies.
Although these men represent a fairly small portion of the male population, they are surprisingly common nonetheless, and very vocal where men’s issues are concerned. Typically, they are the guys who have daddy issues, or who were mistreated when young for being perceived as strange, effeminate or awkward. Some of them, especially the male-to-female transsexual types, are mentally ill to some extent and have fantasies of self-mutilation, castration, etc.
Many of us are familiar with these types, as they can be quite vocal online and in the “men’s Studies” departments of various universities. They typically have a sublimated self-loathing that expresses itself as hatred for their fellow men.
These are, in my opinion, the most dangerous of all our detractors, because they are so often fanatical ideologues, and, if my inbox is any indication, prone to homicidal ideation.
So, when confronted with the “you’re just whining” smear from a man, remember that he is either (1) in denial; (2) profiting from the current system; or, (3) a damaged individual.
For the first category, I would suggest initially gently pointing out his error, and if he persists in his fantasies, leaving him to them without belaboring the point. For the second, simply call out his motive and deal with him as you would with anyone whose interests are at odds with your own. And for the third, exercise caution and avoid him if at all possible — you do not want or need to deal with such troubled individuals.
