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1 in 10 men are victims of rape.

NILETIL

December 15, 2012

3 upvotes

/r/MensRights

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Post Information

Title	1 in 10 men are victims of rape.
Author	NILETIL
Upvotes	3
Comments	12
Date	December 15, 2012 12:45 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/14vebi/1_in_10_men_are_victims_of_rape/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/1-in-10-men-are-victims-of-rape.1006577 https://theredarchive.com/post/1006577

Comments

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Umedark 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Reaperdude97 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]CaptainVanderdecken 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] 13 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]8745quantus 3 points4 points5 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Phuzzums 5 points6 points7 points 13 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

There's the obvious, but less common, drugging or taking advantage of an intoxicated man. Seen many a story here and on other boards (askreddit, relationships) where a man was almost completely out of it, sometimes completely passed out, and had a woman get him aroused and have her way with him.

There is also coercion by authority. Teachers taking advantage of students, bosses taking advantage of employees, etc. Essentially the man is in a position where he can't refuse without repercussion.

More common though is persistence and not taking no for an answer. Most women know full well that a man likely isn't going to physically hurt a woman to stop her because he's been raised to never harm a woman under any circumstance. If a woman is forcing herself on a man by blocking his escape by holding him or pinning him down then there is a real dilemma. If his verbal rejection doesn't work and she continues he has to decide whether he's going to use physical force and risk assaulting her. Of course if you know the whole story then it doesn't make a lot of sense, how can he assault her if he's just trying to stop her?

Well, first, look at it from her point of view: she probably thinks he's being playfully submissive (I mean what guy other than a submissive guy would say no to sex right? she's been taught her whole life that all men want sex all the time) so she's doing the same and taking a dominant role (at least from her point of view) and coercing him into sex. If he gets physical and throws her off and hurts her, from her point of view he just flipped out and hurt her intentionally when they were just having fun (again, from her point of view). Now, look at it from the cop's point of view: the cop gets called out to a DV incident and gets the story from the man and woman. The woman says he hit her, the man says she was trying to rape him. Who do you think, in today's society, that cop is going to believe? Who do you think is going to be spending the night in jail?

That doesn't even cover the part where if the guy throws her off he will probably side with her as well, his whole life he's had it drilled into him to never hurt a girl, never hurt a girl, never hurt a girl, never hurt a girl, and he just hurt a girl. It doesn't matter what the reason, in his mind he hurt a girl and now he's a terrible person and starts blaming himself for what he did to her instead of realizing he was just defending himself.

So imagine all that going through a guys head while this girl is forcing herself on him. This isn't rape to him, at least not by the definition he's been taught his whole life, he's not afraid for his life but he's uncomfortable with it, he doesn't know if he should feel like a victim or not. So he lets her have her way with him, maybe he even tries to rationalize it in his mind and convince himself that he should be enjoying it because "all men want sex all the time", or at least that's what he's been taught. He still can't make himself enjoy it though, he's disgusted by it, but he can't stop it without hurting her. When it's over he gets a second to think about what happened and he realizes he should have stopped her, he thinks of himself as pathetic for not stopping it, he's disgusted in himself for letting someone do that to him. He also knows if he tells anyone about it they are just going to reiterate what he already knows, "you should have pushed her off, you didn't stop her, obviously you wanted it".

No, you won't often see situations where men are physically forced into sex like women are raped by force. Most female on male rapes I doubt even register to the victims as rape because they don't match the criteria of what should be considered a rape. All he knows is he was made to do something he didn't want to do and being a man he knows full well he better suck it up and get over it, even if it takes years or decades of reliving the experience in silence. He won't consider getting help because in his mind it wasn't rape, it wasn't a big deal, but still he lives with it like a veteran lives with PTSD. The scariest thing of all this is lots of women don't even realize the damage they are doing if something like this happens. They aren't taught that men do say no and mean it (at least not nearly as much as men are taught that women say no and mean it). If a guy says no to them, lots will think it's playful rejection (oh, he wants it, he just wants me to work for it) or even see it as a personal insult (he's saying no to ME?!? How can a man say no to sex? How dare he find me so disgusting that he would reject me?!?).

tl;dr: Men can be coerced into sex by women playing on the social conditioning of men to avoid hurting a woman who is blocking his escape or by holding his pride as a man hostage until he becomes what she expects what every man should be like: wanting sex all the time without question.

[–]Reaperdude97 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You ever heard a guy complain about getting random boners? It's when we get an erection for no real apparent reason. We haven't been groping it, we're not looking at porn, we're not in a particularly horny mood, but there it is, all stiff and looking excited. It's kind of like morning wood, only we've been awake for awhile.

Anyway, my point is that a man doesn't need to be interested in sex with the person touching him for his penis to go "Yippie!!" when it starts getting touched. It's a simple, biological reaction we don't have much control over.

Some guys freeze like just women do in certain situations, and it's especially bad for us men, because we're bombarded with "Don't get rough with women!" shit all the time, and on top of that, we're generally expected to be such sex-crazed maniacs that even being surprised by sex that we didn't welcome will turn us on.

There's also the situations where the woman has a knife to the guy's throat. It's not exactly something a woman wouldn't think to do. If women can drown their own children in a bath tub, they can rape grown men by holding a knife to their throat.

[–]bestia_interior 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link