Okay... I'm a 30 years old, I have an absolutely horrible criminal background... All drug charges. When I found out my SO of 2 years was about 3 1/2 months pregnant I started gathering cash anyway I could to pay for the abortion we had spoken about. Unfortunately at this same exact time my living situation had also just changed. My SO and I had been living together for most of our 2 year relationship, but due to financial reasons we had to split up at this pertinent time. After a week or so period apart (and after some major prying) she admits she has "fallen in love" with someone else. I knew this wasn't true, the man she was "in love" with had a steady stream of narcotics, and I believe she was saying and doing whatever to get them, ( and yes, she was getting high even while she was pregnant). There was a major verbal altercation, and off she ran. She kept messaging me for money for the abortion, but I refused unless I could be present ( I didn't want the money spent on drugs, which I was certain was her intention). After another month or so the abortion was no longer feasible, the baby was on his way. I NEVER wanted children, (I know, I know, I should have gotten the vasectomy) so the whole situation angered me. Due to time, transportation, and my anger, I didn't see her in person the entire rest of the pregnancy. We spoke through messages and we tried to make a bridge for the child's sake. When he was born, I ran to the hospital, and it was the first we had all been together in about 5 months (yet she still kept me off the birth certificate). The next day the second foot came slamming down, when the child had come back positive for narcotics. Due to my criminal history I was not awarded custody, so instead I have to fight for it. Her sister was awarded temporary custody through foster care, and I finally get to see him on the 1st as long as it's supervised. They want me to sign releases to talk with my PO and another to talk to my drug counselors ( I don't actually have any, even though counseling is part of my probation) Am I basically screwed? Do I have to sign these releases? It seems a violation of my privacy, and I don't understand how they can use my past against me like this. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice would be grand, I am feeling really hopeless about this whole situation. I have been clean since I found out DCYF was involved, but marijuana takes awhile to get out of my system, so I'm pretty certain I will piss dirty for awhile to come. Please any help is appreciated and I can answer any questions as they come. Thank you in advance!