Founder of Fetlife ("Facebook for BDSM") discusses removing unproven abuse accusations from site: “We live in a society where you’re innocent until proven guilty. ‘Proven’ is very important.”

2012-06-08T22:24:59+00:00

Pretty good discussion here too

http://www.reddit.com/r/SexPositive/comments/uk75y/a_bdsm_blacklist_a_facebooklike_site_for/

Liverotto · 2012-06-09T09:10:21+00:00

"We live in a society where you’re innocent until proven guilty."

If you believe that I have a bridge I would like to sell you.

Scott2508 · 2012-06-09T10:47:08+00:00

Its a difficult one, while the first thing that came to mind was if people are hooking up online and not using safewords then they are morons of the highest order its a bit outside of the normal sphere of things , I do know of a D/s couple who when he left her ( and she was nasty on a lot of levels ) and ended up with a new sub type she reported him for dv and rape which was later dropped, its a scene where there is just too damn many risks

2012-06-09T21:12:10+00:00

I really admire the man who made this decision. It takes a lot of integrity and courage to take a stand on something like this.

hykl · 2012-06-09T03:53:38+00:00

I can kind of see both sides to the issue. One is that it's anonymous for a reason, mostly because the community has so many stereotypes associated with it. But, the safety of community members is a serious issue. Also, fetlife allows users to change their screen names once every month so it is easy to get around the system if someone "names" someone else.

To me it's like any issue: be careful. It's not the websites fault that bad people use it, or that misunderstandings arise. Additionally, due to the emotionally charged meet-ups associated with the scene one can see the possibility for things to go to far, for someone to have regrets, be emotionally needy or confused afterwards etc.

Though the community is mostly anonymous I feel like these issues should be put to the courts or some other consistent system instead of putting the onus on a website that may or may not have connected the people in question.

The site should put resources up for people in a dangerous position, but outing them on the site will make little to no difference. Especially since they can make unlimited profiles. If they know their real name then that can have as far-reaching effects as any false rape claims.

It is not the sites job to monitor this, but I do respect their decision to delete the posts naming people.

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