I'm a divorced father for twelve years now, happily remarried with a supportive wife. My son is twelve and lives in California with his mother and his crazy, brainwashing Mormon grandparents. At the time of divorce we agreed on my paying support and she wants full custody of our son, in return she will not ask for alimony . Stupidly I agreed.

Ever since then my ex makes it difficult to see my son. For the first eight years I would commute to see my son every weekend (90 miles round trip). I pay my child support every month but I have fallen behind from years ago because I had some unemployment problems in early 2002-2004. Because I didn't have a checking account or a regular paycheck during those times I would take my unemployment money and pay for directly (without getting any kind of form of receipt, like a dumb shit).

In 2007 my wife and I moved to Arizona because we were sinking fast in debt living in California. Since then I do my best to see my son every other month for a weekend but it's expensive between gas, food, entertainment and lodging for the three of us. My wife and I both have full-time jobs but like most American's it's still difficult at times to get by.

Recently I had to spend the money I saved up to see my son (that was supposed to be next weekend) to buy a new starter for our Toyota Matrix. I called my ex and son last weekend and told them the bad news that I have to cancel my plans. My son was upset but my ex instantly offered to drive him to Arizona so he could see me. I happily accepted. An hour later the ex-mother-in-law calls up to berate me and tell me how horrible a father I am because I can't drive out there to see my son. I went off on her. No name calling, but I essentially told her to back off and she has no right to say the things she says and I'm doing everything possible to see him.

Now suddenly my ex won't answer any of my text messages asking when she's going to bring him out, or answer her phone or the house phone. Basically she's going to ignore me now and I won't get to see my son.

This isn't the first time she's done this. My ex is incredibly childish and spoiled by her parents who give her anything she or my son ask for. And this isn't the first time she's done this to me either. Before, we would let some time pass and I would still come and visit but each time this happens it gets worse.

WTF do I do? I want to see my son and I'm now convinced I need to take her to court and file for 50/50 custody. But a lawyer is going to cost me a mad amount of money that I don't have. I've spoken to some lawyers local to me and the quote they gave me were ridiculous - most of it because they would have to travel to California and fight it there. I suppose hiring a lawyer in California would be the best move, but can they accept a client who doesn't reside in the state? And I don't have any family that I can ask to help financially.

I will fight for my son but I can't let it break the bank doing it. My wife and I have fought too hard in the past 10 years to get to where we are now. Any advice?

TL;DR: Crazy ex won't let me see my son. How do I get my custody order reversed without it costing me tens of thousands of dollars to do it?

Link to original post here: http://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/m8vsd/whats_the_best_way_to_fight_for_custody_rights_to/