I engaged a local (and VERY large) online parenting group in my city after a heated debate about why school-aged girls weren't responsible for the reactions of shool-aged boys when they dressed themselves in revealing clothes. I kept changing the wording of the statements by the folks claiming that the boys needed to 'control themselves' in to gender neutral statements. This was one of the replies that I got.
/MR, how did I do on my response? I'd love critique and assistance with the inevitable flame war that will ensue. :-)
On Sep 14, 2011, at 1:56 PM, [a woman] wrote:
[hmasing], I know it's hard to see unearned privilege when you have it. But there is a power distinction between men and women that exists whether or not you choose to acknowledge it.
OK, I'm going to veer off course here with the whole school clothing thing, but... this struck a real nerve, so I'll attempt to respond calmly and factually. I'd love a discussion on this - A DISCUSSION, NOT AN ARGUMENT - but the ground rules are: no name calling, no hyperbole, and no ad-homimen attacks. Jokes are encouraged, but not required. Facts are required - preferably backed up by examples and evidence. I don't want this to become a flame war, but I did find myself taken aback by the some of the opinions expressed in the school clothing debacle discussion.
[original poster], I presume that you mean, of course, the 'unearned privilege' of being male, I presume, based upon the context of the original message.
You mean, of course, the myth that the male is culturally favoured, despite the fact that every critical statistic in the area of longevity, disease, suicide, crime, accidents, childhood emotional disorders, alcoholism, and drug addiction shows a disproportionately higher male rate?
You mean, of course, the clear over-representation of men among groups such as the homeless, suicides, alcoholics, the victims of violent crime and prisoners, and the fact that men disproportionately occupy the most dangerous and unpleasant occupations?
You mean, of course, the fact that men must register for selective service at the age of 18, or they will not be eligible for student aid, loans, or assistance for higher education, when women do not need to perform in the same manner?
Let's talk about the 'unearned privilege' of being male and what that really means, from the perspective of a 'privileged' male.
Men are consistently portrayed as stupid in popular media. In popular media, it is apparently acceptable to physically and emotionally abuse a man in a relationship, yet have it considered 'funny'.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9HCpX_xSCA
Reverse the roles on that little gem, and see if you are still chuckling.
On 'The View', Sharon Osborne laughed at a man who had his penis cut off and thrown in a garbage disposal by a disgruntled wife. She cheered, along with the other panelists, on national television. Imagine for a moment if a man had cut off a woman's clitoris and destroyed it - would they be cheering then, too?
Misandry is institutionalized way more than misogyny - especially in the mass media.
What about paternity leave? There are laws in many states granting it now, but still men are strongly pressured socially and professionally to not take the time off. FMLA only applies to companies of over 50 persons - which is less than half of the workforce.
http://life.familyeducation.com/working-parents/fathers-day/36483.html http://www.mensrights.com/index.php/Articles/Paternity-Leave-Facts.html
What about the fact that women are responsible for nearly half of domestic violence cases, but are consistently reported as victims? An aggregated study with a sample size of 370,000 cases shows ' that women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners.'
http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm
This isn't just in the US - here's a story from Canada:
http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2010/07/13/barbara-kay-the-truth-on-domestic-violence-just-isnt-sexy-enough/
Now, to be clear, women are more likely to be injured as a result of domestic violence, but that doesn't change the fact that women incite domestic violence at about the same rate as men.
All a woman has to do to destroy a man's reputation is lie about domestic violence.
What about false rape accusations? If a drunk college male and a drunk college female have consensual drunk sex, and then in the morning she regrets it? Rape.
What about judicial rulings on custody and child support, that consistently go against fathers - even in cases where the mother is provably a danger to the children? OR judicial rulings that men must pay alimony IN ADDITION to child support even when they are unemployed, or face prison time? Like the recent ruling in Texas:
http://www.legis.state.tx.us/billlookup/Text.aspx?LegSess=82R&Bill=HB901
In case you didn't read that, men are required by law to pay 20% of their income (up to $5000/month) for a certain period after a marriage ends in divorce - in addition to child support. Even if the woman is employed or employable. Sounds like indentured servitude to me, but heck, I'm not a lawyer, so what do I know...
What about female teachers going free after raping their underaged male students?
http://www.slate.com/id/2134158/
This woman will have her record cleared in two years if she doesn't do it again.
http://www.wbir.com/news/article/182430/2/Former-teachers-aide-gets-diversion-for-sex-with-boy
What about the fact that as a male, I am automatically looked upon as suspect because I enjoy the company of children?
What about the social stigma of men and breast cancer?
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/44065422/ns/today-today_health/t/breast-cancer-patient-denied-coverage-hes-man/
Oh, right. That pesky wage gap. Women are paid less than men for the same work, everyone knows that, right? It proves that men are privileged.
Except... a report prepared for the Department of Labor a couple years ago shows that this isn't the case:
http://consad.com/index.php?page=an-analysis-of-reasons-for-the-disparity-in-wages-between-men-and-women
(from the report at http://www.consad.com/content/reports/Gender%20Wage%20Gap%20Final%20Report.pdf)
"In 2007, women accounted for 51 percent of all workers in the high-paying management, professional, and related occupations. They outnumbered men in such occupations as financial managers, human resource managers, education administrators, medical and health services managers, and accountants and auditors."
also, from the introduction:
"Although additional research in this area is clearly needed, this study leads to the unambiguous conclusion that the differences in the compensation of men and women are the result of a multitude of factors and that the raw wage gap should not be used as the basis to justify corrective action. Indeed, there may be nothing to correct. The differences in raw wages may be almost entirely the result of the individual choices being made by both male and female workers."
What about the fact that men have better educational opportunities than women?
Oh...In 2006, the number of bachelor degree earning women was 50%...
http://www.realonlinedegrees.com/college-degrees-by-gender/
Look...I totally get that there have been inequities between the sexes historically, and that there are places in the world were women are less valuable than cattle - but the United States isn't one of those places anymore. Are there individuals who hold misogynist viewpoints? Absolutely, just like there are still racists, classists, etc. But I challenge you to find a single case where there is a government right given to men that is not given to women, either federally or in all 50 states. I can find a myriad of laws that clearly favor women over men, as well as patterns where men pay a substantially higher price for being male - both financially and socially.
[–]hmasing[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link