Apologists for cuckoldry, both male and female, are fond of making the attack that men who require to know that they are actually the fathers of the children they are raising are their making love dependent on genetics. In the apologists' eyes, this shows that such men are lowly beings whose only idea of love is promotion of their own genes.

We might look at female behaviour in love for a comparison here. Typically women will talk about how they would marry a man if they loved him even if he were unemployed/low status/otherwise a loser. In reality, what happens is that women do not fall in love with men who are not a viable prospect for them. Objective reality is essential in the triggering of the emotion. In their eyes, and mine, this does not make the love they feel any less valid.

The same applies to genetic parenthood. For some men, probably most, the genetic relationship is a prerequisite for for the rich set of interactions which constitutes fatherhood. Objecting to this is equivalent to objecting to the factors which determine who women fall in love.