Crosspost "Avoid them aka stay tf away" from /r/ExHinduWomen:

Due to modernization and increasing access to the internet, desi men have been getting radicalised and are now being doubly misogynistic, i.e. they have desi misogyny+ western misogyny.

It's best to avoid them because they're good at gaslighting and manipulating you into becoming their gf/ wife/ slave.

Here are some signs that will help you identify such men:

1) The Debator

Wants to start a debate about topics like feminism and whether or not it's a valid ideology and whether or not feminists are misandrists. They won't change. All they want to do is to watch you bend over backwards to explain stuff.

2) "False accusations"

Yup. If he brings this stuff up. You know what to do. They disguise their misogyny under this stance. Women wanting to be safe is the most basic of human rights. Don't allow anyone to change the narrative. Decent men aren't worried about getting accused.

3) Abortion laws:

Abortion has been legalized in India since 1971. There's no reason to bring this up, unless ofc, if he's reading all the abortion politics going on in the western and European countries and wants another access to control women's bodies. Oh btw, abortion is allowed in Hinduism lol Ayurveda has whole procedure explained. You can use this argument even if you're exHindu.

4) Sanghi/ RSS/ Hindutva apologia:

These men just want women to produce more kids and they'll bring up how bad Muslim women have it while ignoring the abuse Hindu women experience at the hands of Hindu men.

5) "Smile more"

Literally the most western thing I've noticed. Indians actually consider this as flirting. "Hasi to fasi" logic.

6) Talks about sex education

Send him to a healthcare provider. It's not your responsibility to teach him stuff even if you're a science/biology/medical student/doctor/any related field.

7) "Women have it better"

No they don't. Period.

8) Twitter/ Instagram buzzwords

A man isn't a feminist just because he's using words off of social media.

9) Claims he's a feminist

Be VERY alert if a desi man says that. Chances are he's using it to trap you. Check his background. In any case, if he appears predatory, he ain't a feminist. Simple as that.

10) Makeup tips

Rare but found in big cities. These men love giving women tips on what he thinks will look good on you. Which lipstick you should wear.

11) Porn use

Self explanatory. If he's open about porn use. Run. Well all men watch porn so ://

12) "Jokes"

You know "woman bad" "misogyny hahaha" jokes. NEVER laugh. Instead, ask him to explain what's funny while keeping a straight face.

13) "You're on your period"

Men will use this line to invalidate you. If he's doing this, ask for sources.

14) Asks for FWB

Block. Straight up. There's nothing to talk anyway.

15) NAMALT/ male or rape apologia

Well if he's trying to justify men staring at women like they're pieces of meat by saying bs like "there's a lack of sex education", "men like women, it's natural/biology" and "not all men", you know he's trash.

16) """Friends"""

Beware of befriending a man because you don't know their intentions or if they're trying to make you their gf/ wife. What's worse, they'll just blame you for "leading them on" or "I've always considered you as my girlfriend" or "I thought you liked me" or "my feelings have changed because we were so close". This trope is getting common tbh. You probably have met many of these.

17) Cries about friendzone

Self explanatory. He wants interaction with women only to have sex.

18) Incel/ redditor/ MGTOW/ manosphere/ chodi/ librandu behaviour

If he depicts any of these, get away. He's already radicalised.

19) "51% of the population is female"

Well, India and China each have 77 million more men than women because of rampant female foeticides and infanticides.

20) His ex girlfriend or friend is crazy

Nope. He gaslighted her and is now claiming she's crazy. You'll be the next one to be branded "crazy".

21) Religious oppression

Uses religion to oppose or oppress minorities and excuse prejudice.

22) Social media

Look at his social media and the type of content it has and the people he is interacting with.

23) Mandatory military service

It's not an Indian issue. No one is being forced to go to the border in India. Your best reply: "Nobody should be sent to the military". They won't have a comeback to this.

It's upto you if you want to give a nice comeback but you'll end up gaslighted or blamed for it so the best option is to ignore them.

If he comes up to "discuss/ debate", just say that you're not interested in a discussion and he can talk to actual knowledgeable people about them.

This will save you a lot of trouble and won't give them a chance to gaslight or manipulate you.

Remember, we're living in a patriarchy and the odds are stacked AGAINST WOMEN. Infact, even women will gaslight you to get male validation and attention. An average woman is heavily brainwashed to accept slavery and abuse. This is the reality.

Posted by CaramelxMarshmallows | 30 November 2020 | Link