Proper Escalation in Nightclub? Where did I go wrong?

Sup guys,

There is currently a girl I am interested in hooking up with. I feel like she digs me but for some reason I am having trouble closing. We have gone to a club 2 weekends now. Both times, we drink, converse and have a good time. She tends to stay near me and only wants to dance with me as well.

Both time we have ended up grinding and getting very close and sexual. Both times, when we have been grinding for a while I started kissing her neck and she didn't really respond at all, negative or positive. We kept dancing and the night went on but at the end we parted ways. The second night was the same story but around closing time I told her "Let's go back to your place." She kinda giggled and ignored the statement so I kinda backed off. We danced a little some more again before I decided to leave.

The only thing I can think of is that there were mutual friends there and maybe she doesn't want to seem slutty or easy or something? I am kind of new to this so I can only apologize ahead of time if its bad form. Thanks for any help.

[–]RedditAdminsSuck_88 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]tryingtoLearn1212[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Your escalating sucks. Power through shit tests.

What does this look like, Practically? We run in the same circles and I am concerned that if I push too hard too fast and creep her out or something my rep will be shot.

Conversing at a club? Why? Be careful when "conversing" with women, you don't want to be their emotional tampon. Are you sure she just didn't take you along so she wasn't going alone? You say she only danced with you and only stayed near you but maybe she was using you trying to make other guys jealous.

It's entirely possible I guess, but her demeanor and behaviour doesn't point to that in my opinion at all. She doesn't really "look around" at other people when we are together. Both times that we have gone she has literally talked to no one outside of our group of friends. Maybe she is using me as a comfort person that she knows she can have a good safe night out with, that's possible. Maybe I'll start flirting/dancing with other chicks more often on the nights that she's there.

[–]RedditAdminsSuck_88 -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I am concerned that if I push too hard too fast and creep her out or something my rep will be shot.

No no no no no no. That is blue pilled beta frame of mind. Women want men to be upfront with their intentions. They want men to take charge. They like it when men are direct and take the lead. Women know if a guy is into them. Trust me. So if a man is into them and they don't escalate, the woman will view the man as a weak, pussy coward and will friendzone him. Not escalating is equivalent to cock blocking yourself.

A woman is only creeped out by a man if A.) His SMV isn't high enough and/or B.) The man is not confident. If your SMV is high but you are not confident and don't escalate or escalate weakly, it will be seen as creepy.

When a woman says "OMG he is so creepy!" what she is really saying is "OMG! This guy who is clearly not good enough for me is talking to me, ugh, get him away".

Watch what women do, not what they say. You tried to "escalate" the 2nd night, she laughed, and you shut down. Yet you claim she was grinding on you all night and focused on you. Her actions indicate she was into you. That should have been your tell. Should have busted through her shit test.

[–]tryingtoLearn1212[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]RedditAdminsSuck_88 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It makes me feel like she will get mad or act like "What the fuck are you doing" type shit or something I don't know.

Men are programmed and brainwashed to think this way. To think that we have to take things slow, we have to slowly work our way up to this point, we have to yield to women and what we think they want, etc.

I used to be that way, even after first taking the red pill I still would have this mindset that I have to take it slow, be careful, wait for the right time, etc. It's something you have to deprogram your brain from.

But take it from me, trust me on this, when I say to be upfront, be direct, take charge, take the lead, escalate early and often. It may seem like you will drive her away, but it won't, as long as your SMV is high enough for her. It's what women WANT you to do. They have short attention spans. There will be times where you think that a certain women are different and escalating early/often on them and being direct won't work, but trust me, AWALT. Always power through it and stay on course if you feel like you are getting resistance. You will know when the resistance is just ASD/LMR/shit testing or actual, get-the-fuck-away-from-me resistance. If you get the latter, then hard next and move onto other women. Watch what they do and not what they say.

Again, any help with what this actually looks like?

You said she giggled and ignored it when you said lets go back to your place. Personally, I would have pressure flipped and said "Oh so you want to go back to my place". Gauge her reaction. If she ignored again then I would have run dread on other women. If you were only focusing on her like you claim she was only focusing on you, maybe she thought she had you wrapped around her finger. I would have proven that false, talked to other women and make her jealous and try again.

Read this, its helpful: https://illimitablemen.com/2014/12/14/the-shit-test-encyclopedia/

Title	Proper Escalation in Nightclub? Where did I go wrong?
Author	tryingtoLearn1212
Upvotes	2
Comments	5
Date	June 19, 2016 8:51 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4ov4r7/proper_escalation_in_nightclub_where_did_i_go/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/proper-escalation-in-nightclub-where-did-i-go.107133 https://theredarchive.com/post/107133

Comments