Marriage & Sex

I'm 31. I was raised in a religious family in North Africa. Around 8 years ago, I moved to North America. I'm still a bit religious in the sense that I try to practice but I consider myself open-minded and secular. I don't drink alcohol and I've stopped my self from having sex (outside marriage; with women who sell it) or massages with happy endings. I also stopped PMO because it drained my energy (I still get urges for sure).

If you ask me "how did you manage to live 31 years without sex?" I would tell you that I used to focus on my career only, PMO every now and then, and live in lala land (movies, TV, books, ..) and gym or do some other activity.

In my religion and family, I was told to always deal with women as queens because the culture can be pretty shitty. To cherish, love and help. But I hate marriage in the conventional/arranged setup. I also fucken hate the responsibility, the fight for control and the pointless routine, and at the same time I'm preventing myself from have closure outside of it (For me a connection comes first before sex). Anyone in this dilemma? Any thoughts on this matter?

Love

There is one point here to be made, I'm always looking to fall hopelessly in love and to deal with women with the ultimate respect and care. As I grow older, I know that it is not something that just gonna happen out of the blue and that I can't be all for her. It's bloody pathetic now because women now are different from my mothers or grandmothers era.

How to get rid of this thought?