Starting Point

Yesterday in the middle of 'supposed to be studying' a brilliant idea smack down hit me out of nowhere. BAM! Different thoughts connected in my head - oh my God! It was beautiful - how did I never see it before it was so obvious all this time!!!! I would've sworn that it was going to change the world. For a moment I had figured out the solution to all of humanity - ego, shame everything would be resolved. It felt so amazing. I immediately wrote down the bullet points on top of my head.

I clicked on recorder app on Windows and started to record out this grand unifying theory of mine, it was going to be beautiful it should've been beautiful … but then I began to open my mouth. I began to falter. The words weren't sounding as smooth as they supposed to be, the logic began to crumble with each sentence - I was contradicting myself. Crashing. Falling. I pushed through. The recording is complete. I press play. The failure was completed! I had recorded 6 minutes of hot garbage that made no sense. I wanted to delete that audio clip. Pretend it never happened. But I didn't, I kept it to remind myself not to be goofing around when I was supposed to be studying. But another one reason would emerge days later, one I hope you the readers will understand by the end of this essay/vent.

Why I didn't buy on to the Red pill

You see for the longest time I rejected the ideas of this subreddit - the notion that all women are hypergamous, alpha bucks beta cucks all seemed so absurd to me. Yes I read the sidebar, yes I watched the videos, yes I even applied some of the principles to some success but deep down in my core I just couldn't accept it all. I still clung to the notions of humanism, notions of the greater good held in all beings, that I was programmed to believe (look at the neighbor's friendly smile) - that innately all beings are good and kind and I needed to believe in that, so I had to go out my way to be nice to everyone because hey I don't want anyone to feel bad - that I have a duty to my society and country because patriotism is such a beautiful thing and that I had a duty and responsibility to the nation above all.

So you can imagine having such a deeply rooted foundation like this meant how I would interact with information that opposed this reality I had constructed would never be taken seriously. There is notion in psychology called Cognitive disonnance - it is a feeling of discomfort that occurs whenever a person is put in a situation that contradicts one's own beliefs for values. For example when one advises their peers - to exercise, read or not to care what other people think - but then goes off to not do themselves the things that they've preached others to do. When this happens a mini conflict arises in ones self - some form of anxiety, tension - to preach one thing and act another way is to be a hypocrite - a paradox emerges - between the ideal and true self. This is cognitive dissonance a tension the mind wants to resolve, so it can feel better about itself. So one makes up some excuse like its okay because I can do it tmw or I am a good person so its okay if I skip a couple of days. This is a light example there are other more extreme situations of cognitive dissonance, like coming up with posting a black square to avoid not having to deal with realities of the world, making up justifications for not practicing what you preach, or a personal favorite the Salem witch trials. For more google CogBlog.

In my case the default was to treat self contradictory information like it was an amusing story. Sure knowing a story is useful, yes maybe it has some lesson I can apply to my own life, but at the end of the day - it is just a story it can't be real. The world can't be as grim as they make it out to be right. So my way to resolve this dissonance was to rationalize it all away.

This behavior wasn't just for this subreddit - it was how I saw the world. Internet censorship? nope its for the good of the public; politician lying? but he didn't mean it; billion dollar company firing its employees despite record profits? maybe they don't have enough money?; or the friend zoned girl I had a crush on grinding up on me the moment I got taller and a fraction buffer, it was definitely just my personality beginning to glow

The examples I have chosen above are the light ones, the ones I could rationalize, but what about the one I just can't. The ones where the only option is to stay slack jaw in shock and sit in silence.

That God's representative on earth threw Hitler a birthday party; just listen to how health care companies really feel about you getting sick in todays world is effectively a death sentence, ; criminal laws are created just to fuck you over cause prison labor is so damn profitable, but those same laws just do not apply the children of those who wrote the damn laws); and don't get me started on family law because this subreddit has enough examples; [Covid-19 was most likely created in a Chinese lab with U.S funding]([http://archive.today/7oh13), Democrats vs Republicans? more like fuck you, fuck you and fuck you

Even after all I stay still some lingering hope that everything would go back to its innocent normal self remained in my mind. Some fabric of hope

One of the most memorable articles I read on this subreddit for me was this You are disposable. The world does not care about you. : The Red Pill (reddit.com) "Men have risked their lives to explore the world, work dangerous jobs, and go to war. Millions of men have been ground into the dust under the boot of the modern war machine. And for what? Resources."

I read this thought damn how inspiring and how shocking! But that was about it. I felt motivated for the moment but then nothing changed. Because I didn't truly know what the author was talking about it - I could visualize movies and books and create a cheap visualization of what they were talking about it. But a cheap trick does not stick.

Nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. Reality can not be understood from a book or a videogame. It must seen it must experienced it must be touched or felt.

Hope Crushed

Just today the country I currently live in ended a pointless war. If you were to google the event, read articles, official press statements, watch the pundits, arm chair experts they will all, all! speak of the logical noble, primary reason that justified the start of the war. And the sequence of events that led to the 'logical end of the war.'' They speak of reason x, reason y and reason z whereas the reality of the situation is that the person on top started feeling warmongery and so they went to war, so they made up a reason. And everyone just lapped it all up. The noble reason was accepted so the battle was proclaimed holy! It was a sick joke that no-one could do anything about but Clap! Clap!

From 1984

At the start of the book, Oceania is at war with Eurasia. They have always been at war with Eurasia. That's the political consensus, and all historic documents agree. However, Winston Smith remembers a time five years ago when Oceania was instead at war with Eastasia. Winston Smith struggles with philosophical idea of "truth". Which is more true, what everyone knows and what's in the newspapers, or the memories within his head?

Then Ocean's allegiance switched back again. On the sixth day of Hate Week, as crowds gathered to denounce Eurasia, the Party switched enemies to Eastasia. In a particularly rousing speech against their enemy, the speaker was handed a slip of paper, and in mid-sentence, without pause, without change in content or tone, he changed the name of the enemy he was speaking against to Eastasia. Eurasia was now their dearest friends. Those holding banners denouncing their enemy were suddenly embarrassed to discover they had unaccountably written the wrong name, and quickly trampled and destroyed them.

This change meant work for Winston in the Ministry of Truth:

Oceania was at war with Eastasia: Oceania had always been at war with Eastasia. A large part of the political literature of five years was now completely obsolete. Reports and records of all kinds, newspapers, books, pamphlets, films, sound-tracks, photographs--all had to be rectified at lightning speed. Although no directive was ever issued, it was known that the chiefs of the Department intended that within one week no reference to the war with Eurasia, or the alliance with Eastasia, should remain in existence anywhere.

__

Yesterday we were at war. Today we are at peace. The news channels changed, the twitter feeds changed, and by the end of the week the same people who were rallying for blood will be chanting for peace. Just like that! Will the history books remember what really happened. I don't know. Will anyone care - I am not so certain.

You haven't forgotten about the Recording, Have you?

I return back to my first story. What did I learn from my theory, the delusional one so perfect in my head that come out so ugly when I birthed it to the world.

The human condition is just ugly.

We are ugly creatures, fish that fell out of the water and evolved away from chimps - side note: did you know that chimps are as violent as humans, they go to war, rape and murder just like we do. so that would mean it is literally in our blood.

In an ideal world, the red pill shouldn't have existed - such brutality shouldn't have attracted so many people. It shouldn't feel so damn logical, and feel like it makes so much sense. Deep down I feel that, every written article on The Guardian, BBC, Vulture believes that. But the reality is that just like my grand unifying theory - the real world is not ideal. What we cling on to, the expectations - what is supposed to be logical does not translate to reality.

Real life is ugly, the default is that if you are weak you will stepped on and taken advantage of. This ideal world that I am plastered with when I go on the front page of reddit, or on google, or when I talk to people disappears when I scratch a little deeper. These assumed virtues just do not work.

  • Practice vulnerability and openess - but remember dare fuck up and I will fire you 6 ways to Sunday.
  • You can have your cute unions - but the fine print mentions no legal backing
  • News media is wonderful, if you ignore that their all owned by Big corporations who want you numb - who would rather magnify gender politics that barely 1% of the population gives a fuck about than dare speak about worker rights, wages, homelessness - issues that concern me,
  • But what about the goodness of humanity of Society! Society lol. Lets not forget that Jesus was crucified at the cross by vote of the crowd - who chose to free a murderer than him. Society is a mask we all must wear - oppose the crowd you are fucked.
  • Bad politician shame on them for supporting the invasion of Iraq. Lets brutalize them on National TV right? But guess what fucking percent of the media actually did oppose the Iraq War when it happened it, 3 fucking percent
  • Politicians good? they wouldn't either they put money in your bank account or they don't so fuck them - end of story - parasocial relationships only benefit them because the reality is that you don't know anything about them beyond what a million dollar PR team allows you to see. {no link here - no-one is innocent. your job is figure out what they stand for and how they benefit you.}

and this is only a fraction of a fraction of the hypocrisy that is out there when you start opening your eyes. fuck!

What is the point of this ramble? Simple to share some of what I have come to accept about the world. How what I believe clashes against what I see. The red pill is not a mad philosophy. It is just a mad fucking world we live in. To pretend otherwise is the greatest indicator of madness.

It is crude and unforgiving and most of us here will be lucky if we make out alive. There are so many dark forces out there - older generations had to deal with constant war, mad kings, disease, economic crisis, disappearing pensions, ignorant fucks, ignorant fucks again, personal destruction. The price of existence is so fucking high. The dangers are so far out there that its like we're numb or something. What does YouTube matter, when I don't even have my own apartment, or captured my future, why does being nice matter so much when being nice has allowed me to get taken advantage by the whole fucking world. Common sense is not so common.

The Red Pill is useful because the modern man is so numbed the fuck out that they don't know where their head game needs to be at.

We live in dangerous times. being nice is the most dangerous thing one could chose to be Ignorance is a death sentence in this globalized, financialized world. The Red Pill is not an option.

Last note: My thoughts on women.

Women are not villains, but the reality is that Pam Beasley is a unicorn imagine how many ideal circumstances had to be met for Jim to be with her. - she was unambitious, attractive, stuck in a dead end town, had no other options besides the fat dude, and her art sucked. Jim was a bum. They were perfect for each other. They got lucky

Men can be lucky. That's why happy couples say how they are lucky to have met the one. Or they can just settle for the one person that they had in their lives - think high school sweet heart - and not knowing any better turn them into the lucky one.

But into today's highly digitalized world, where dudes aren't competing with just their peers anymore but literal Kings. If you chose to rely on luck, hats of to you, other wise competition seems to me the only other option.

The violent path of destruction is not 'a choice.' It is the 'only' way to survive. I have been disillusioned.

good luck

Tldr: go fuck yourself if youre not going to read this. if your attention span is this bad get a book

Any opposition is welcome. Challenging ideas is only future. This is not a planned essay. I have felt this combination of ideas for a while now and it just finally clicked.

I recommend watching the following documentaries

  1. Hypernormalization - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thLgkQBFTPw
  2. Bigger, Stronger, Faster - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXDQZPtmiD8
  3. Don't talk to the police - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-7o9xYp7eE