talking to an ex's sister, dead in the water?

markdosdourian · 2016-08-23T17:44:13+00:00

so i dated this one girl a few months back and she ghosted me because baby-daddy came back in the picture,

You should have just been fucking her. No dating single moms. Single moms are for sex only. And you wrap it. No exceptions.

I was also losing interest quickly in her due to mannerisms

Next.

and her trying to take the moral high-ground every-time we hooked up ( i told myself i wouldn't sleep with someone I'm not in love with.... etc...so why are you fucking me then?) , so I just let her go.

Her hamster. Watch what they do, don't listen to what they say. Trying to make herself feel good about her actions.

I hit up her sister and we have been talking,

Oh boy.

I got her out to dinner and it was a good night.

Don't invest money in women, especially not sisters of plates.

however when I tried to escalate I was hit with. " my sister would hate me and never talk to me again", I said "well that's too bad for your sister then huh?" she pushed me away and said she was serious and all this other crap, so I ended the night and soft next her.

Expected. Waste of time and money.

we got together again a few weeks later for some drinks

More wasting time. Please tell me she bought you at least one round.

and she is telling me how she hooked up with this guy but he left her because of his ex not liking her, and she hooked up with some friend of a friend who is broke guy with 2 kids, but he sucked at it.

She was thinking about sex with you.

Now i know why she hit me up... damn...

No you don't.

in my attempt to escalate I feel like it came off as needy instead of amused I said "well shit you need a real man in your life, not some pussy who bows down to his ex and a broke ass guy with 2 kids who doesn't know how to fuck." and tried to escalate.

She's a trainwreck, that's for sure. What you should have said was something like "wow you've just been really unlucky." and then escalated.

she then gave me some crap about not loving herself and needing to feel beautiful and she cant have a love life right now.

Trainwreck. NEXT.

i told her Id "make her feel something" and "feeling beautiful after was expected"(I cringed at this part) it lead to nowhere.

Cringe. That right there is where you blew it.

on the way to my next stop of the night i got a text from her saying "I'm Sorry, maybe one day but just not right now, trust me I've been thinking about me and you, but like I said I'm not in the right place for that and I wouldn't be able to give you the attention you deserve"; I said " I'm a simple man, as long as were having fun I'm ok ;)"

And you continued blowing it. When a girl texts you shit like "it's not you it's me (meaning IT IS YOU), you either don't respond or say "k" and that's it.

last I heard from her she was at her sisters birthday party, I asked if she was free to get together that night and she said "no she was staying at her sisters" i said "alright cool, enjoy the party" she responded with "please dont be mad" I laughed it off and said I wasn't being sarcastic and to really have a good time.

OK that was your last attempt at contact with her, right?

I haven't heard from her since, its been like a week I hit her up twice once because i was in her area, and once because i was bored and wanted to see if she wanted to come to the "king Richards Faire" coming up (Tits in corsets and turkey legs everywhere... fuck yes), no responses either time.

I see, it wasn't. You're still dancing around going "hey, look at me! Hey, how's it going?!"

I'm letting it go but I feel like I should text her something stupid like "damn girl your harder to get a hold of than bin-laden" just to see what happens.

No. No more texts to her. At all. No contact AT ALL. NONE WHATSOEVER. For at least like, six months.

I feel like this would be a hard next because she showed her interest then radio silenced after?

I dunno I just came her for your opinion on the situation, because it is bothering me a bit, i feel like i played the game right then let my low SMV get in the way I do lift but in the meantime I am still a fat-ass, however i do pick up hb7/8 from time to time...maybe I'm charming??

You need to fix the "fat ass" part. You also need to let this one go. You blew it.

how do you feel i handled the game? did i get tripped up by my SMV? Hard next?

You got tripped up because you were talking to a single mom/plate's sister who is also a trainwreck, you spent inordinate amounts of money and time on her without ever having fucked her, you said stupid shit to her after all her self-revelations, and then you kept trying to text her after she showed clear lack of interest. After one or two nonreturned texts or rejections or "no's", you delete and block.

You need to fix the fat ass part, sure, but you also need to fix the ineraction part. When a girl is telling you all about her fucked up past, she just wants you to listen to her and know that you'll accept her as she is without judgment or rejection.

She doesn't want you to talk about how good you'll make her feel. She already knows you're sexually interested in her. SHE KNOWS THAT. That's why you're dropping money on dinner and booze. Just don't say anything except "wow, that's rough" or "wow, you've been really unlucky."

If you escalate and you get shot down, wait a bit and try again. If you escalate and get shot down a second time, soft next.

If you blow it with a girl (like you did with plate-sister), chalk it up and move on, no texting, no "boy you're hard to get hold of" shit. That's butt hurt and it'll come off that way.

Now pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and STFU next time a girl starts running off at the mouth about her tales of woe and guys who done her wrong. And do not spend money on the next girl. Girls don't get dinner out or $100 bar tabs or gifts or lots of time until AFTER sex has happened.

EDIT: You DO understand why single mom/plate's sister gave you a trial run, don't you? It's because plate and sister were talking to each other about you. Plate said she kinda liked you or you were nice or you have a nice dick or you're fun or whatever; so sister decided to put you through some paces for herself. She hung with you for a while, then when you blew it, it was done. Plate and sister are now talking to each other about how you blew it. Forget these two.

pickledpeas · 2016-08-23T17:34:57+00:00

You would be doing yourself a massive favour if you just forgot about this girl. Easier said than done I know but rip the band-aid off quick and be done with it, delete her number and all forms of social media.

ecosci · 2016-08-25T21:57:58+00:00

You have very low self esteem get your game right first.

Title	talking to an ex's sister, dead in the water?
Author	markdosdourian
Upvotes	0
Comments	5
Date	August 23, 2016 3:50 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4z755h/talking_to_an_exs_sister_dead_in_the_water/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/talking-to-an-exs-sister-dead-in-the-water.110169 https://theredarchive.com/post/110169

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