RP speaks in such blanket statements & such absolutes. They are so convinced they are right & I allowed myself to be brainwashed too, fully internalizing the idea that being 32 & perpetually single, I am a hideous ancient hag who will never find a husband (or even a long-term boyfriend who has any degree of value or emotional intelligence). Here are things about RP I find untrue based on my experience & that of the women around me. ALL OF THIS IS PURELY ANECDOTAL so you're welcome to tell me I'm an "outlier" or just totally full of shit.

^(For reference I am 32f, white, upper-middle class, pretty traditional/conservative (though not bookish/churchish) & have a relatively low n-count for my age. Haven't worked in the last few years but hold a few state + national licenses in a specific profession in the legal field, & pre-covid I was self-employed, earning six figures. I'm also reasonably attractive, which I know is controversial because if I'm over 30 & still single surely I must be overestimating my looks...but just take my word for it or I'll send you my IG or something. Don't want this to turn into a "hOt oR nOt?!?!" debate, but I know the pitchforks will be out looking to see if I'm actually secretly ugly so I'm just throwing it out there as a possibility, and if you can prove you're not a serial killer I'll consider it haha.)

- Not caring about a woman's job, income, or intelligence: I have absolutely been grilled about my job/income potential by various men, both high & low value, & I've absolutely had men vet me for intelligence in terms of ease of conversation for compatibility purposes. I've had men act very interested in me physically/sexually but not stick around long-term due to lack of personality chemistry, & also I lose all interest/attraction for men when I realize they're just trying to fuck me & not actually get to know me, so frankly I felt it too so no harm no foul.

I've tested being myself vs. dumbing myself way down to gauge the differences, & ultimately it all just depends on the guy. Like right now I have a pretty LVM who's been pursuing me quite aggressively because we share political, ideological & conspiracy-related beliefs. Sure, he probably thinks I'm cute too, but it's our conversation and shared interests that hooked him, not my five generic OLD/IG photos that he could find of any local woman on any old dating app.

- Men are willing to spend more money/effort on a younger girl, bc duh she's younger & I'm an ugly old hag: nope. Virtually all men at all ages are trying to get away with the least amt of effort, period. Younger girls haven't yet been burned repeatedly by entitled, predatory LVM so they let them get away with the least amt of effort. The older I get the better my dates are getting, partly due to my own vetting practices improving & partly bc I am attracting higher quality men as I mature & come to realize my own worth.

- Men just want a sweet, kind girl who causes no problems & makes no waves: believe me I have played this game. I have been the sweet, caring girlfriend, genuinely interested in a man's interests & caring about what he cares about. It's appreciated in the moment but doesn't work long-term. You need more to cultivate genuine connection.

- Men don't want single moms under any circumstances so if you're over 30 w/ kids, might as well kill yourself: nope. Multiple HVMs I've dated/met are currently or have recently dated women older than me who have children, INCLUDING MY MOST SIGNIFICANT EX AND MY MOST SIGNIFICANT RECENT GHOSTER. Being childless & never married hasn't helped me in any way I can determine. If anything, being divorced or being a mom may actually operate as a subtle positive social signal, because it shows that this person was desirable enough at some point to be married or impregnated, particularly if knocked up by an HVM. A perpetually single childless woman like me is probably subtly broadcasting that something is wrong with me."((Tbf, there is plenty wrong w/ me as I deal w/ chronic illness & a ton of other weird stuff but I usually don't get far enough in the dating process for these guys to even learn any of this about me. All interactions stay superficial until I feel comfortable, which is almost never.))

More (anecdotal) proof that this is wrong: I'm casually observing the first round of divorces in my social circle & they're having no problem getting back on the dating scene & getting remarried. I've also spent hundreds of hours of my life in family law courtrooms & I'm constantly amazed by the # of people on their 2nd or 3rd marriages, and they aaaaall have kids (they're in court fighting out custody, child support, CPS conflicts etc.)

- Men prioritize women who can cook & have domestic skills: not really. No man has ever given a shit that I cook or clean, & I do both exceptionally well. Other shit I can do reasonably well = sew a bit (basic repairs/tailoring), iron/steam clothes (I take immaculate care of clothing/textiles 'cause I'm super frugal so I'm good at making things last), play piano (have a long history of musical training actually), paint, basic crafts, basic photography, hair styling, interior design...pretty much all the basics (at the very least) of maintaining children & a nice home.

No man has ever appeared to be vetting me for these things or care that I do them. Interestingly though, I've dated/met a LOT of men who love to cook & clean, or at least can/are happy to do it. I wonder if RP men are overwhelmingly the type who never developed these skills & therefore place undue importance on them when describing their ideal woman, when that's not actually necessary, they're just projecting their own shortcomings? (just an idea)

- No liberal or leftist "feminist" values; no "boss bitch" or MLM business pursuits; no short butch haircuts in unnatural colors: self-explanatory. None of this applies. Never heard a guy say "oh thank god your hair is natural" or some such (which it is -- I don't even dye it)

- No tattoos/facial piercings: no one cares. If anything it's considered weird that I don't have tats. After seeing that "if she has ____ piercing chances are she's had ____ # of sex partners" list, I took out my navel ring & tragus piercing in a panic, but looking back I highly, highly doubt these two little bits of jewelry have made a single lick of difference in my dating life.

- Body-wise, all men care about is that you keep your weight down: nope. I stay fit/trim but I'm not "hot." I see the kinds of women these guys follow on social media, and I don't stack up.

- Plastic surgery & excessive body enhancement is terrible: nope. I guarantee my dating life would have gone far differently if I'd gotten breast implants in my early 20s like I initially wanted to. I have a good body but nothing that grabs attention. Men always claim they want "natural" but again, I see what they're into online, and I know what enhancements might have kept some of my former "fence sitters"/"orbiters" around longer.

- For the love of god no onlyfans or other modeling or online sex work shit: nope. I see what these guys are looking at on IG & two guys in particular appear to have women in their lives who do precisely this kind of work. No one cares. If anything they prob appreciate the hustle AND would feel "honored" in some weird way to get to date a woman like this. My most recent ghoster (who I was reeeeeally into) is all about this type of woman, and would probably be thrilled to wife up/tie down this type.

- No social media/influencer type shenanigans: nope, in fact I felt PRESSURED to reactivate my old IG since post-pandemic on OLD virtually every man is on it too. (My IG is very clean, it's on private & I never update it, has only a few pics of me fully clothed. I am frequently questioned why I don't update more, and when I do it's not titillating so I'm easily ignored.)

- Men don't care how tall you are, just keep your weight down & your body's more than fine: nope. I've been subtly shamed & even subtly rejected for my height. I am "only" 5'9" but you'd be surprised how many men aren't down w/ it. I thought it was good to have long legs & a lean silhouette but right now the "trendy" look is short, hourglass, BBL (think Kardashians) w/ a fully contoured beat face. I can't obtain or maintain any of that so I'm pretty SOL. I bet if I'd been in my 20s in the late 90s/early 00s, I would have done way, way better both socially & in dating.

- Men want a woman who is good w/ kids: nope. I adore the crap out of my nephews, have countless photos w/ them & talk about how much I love them all the time (to friends, family, guys, basically anyone I meet, bc I'm seriously obsessed with them, haha) & no guy is interested in this...to them it's probably boring tbh.

- I'm going to end up with 29837423 cats, forever alone: nope. When/if I feel like it, I can get a date, I'm just so burned out & my self-esteem is so low, I just can't handle it right now. And I don't even like cats. If anything, I'll have one or two dogs (great excuse to get out of the house for walks) and just focus on my job & my hobbies & chill on my own.