The way compromise works, two people come together, get to know each other in an unbiased fashion, and negotiate around each other's personalities until they find a good, everyone-gets-enough-of-what-they-want compromise.

Where the chauvinists come in, both male and female chauvinists, is that they build this trauma-based mental abstraction about what they will or won't tolerate, they set their terms as a "middle ground", and they demand that other people meet them there.

With this kind of situation, true compromise is impossible; It's already begun on the wrong foot with control schemes and disparaging characterizations of what constitutes abuse. The "middle ground" is not arbitrary; There's going to be a different middle ground for each pairing of people.

This leads gender chauvinists into the unfortunate situation where they are acting intrinsically in bad faith, but can't recognize it, and therefore take any criticism of their faulty approach as bad faith instead of the good faith that it is.

This is the root of the irreconcilability between male chauvs and fem chauvs.

"All alone or in twos
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall
Some hand in hand
And some gather together in bands
The bleeding hearts and the artists
Make their stand

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall"