I’ll start off my saying I don’t hate women. I respect the fact that they don’t want me, despite having a lot of money they can tell Im a socially incapable man with mental illness. I’ve been going to therapy and it hasn’t helped. Im not willing to take antidepressants due to the increased risk in suicidal thoughts

I went on a date for the first time in 8 years with a girl from bumble. It really didn’t go well, I get the feeling she just wanted free food. I’m not that likeable of a person. She unmatched with me right after without saying anything. I guess that’s called ghosting? I didn’t really wanna see her again either but it still feels bad.

I have not really gotten any other matches besides with women I’m just not attracted to, they’re almost always very overweight. When I do message women I could sort of see dating they don’t respond.

People have told me not to use apps but I have no friends or social life and I don’t like talking to women in public, especially ones I don’t know. I’m afraid of most people.

I think of killing myself almost constantly.