Hello to you all, I'm a hardcore beta male [24], I was raised by my single mother with out dad and she was very emotional abusive, by that i mean she has tried to kill me, sometimes no food for few days and way more shit.

I got few questions that i need help with to help myself, I was never a handyman, I never get angry, If i do it takes a lot of pressure. I don't know how to say No, I can't stand up for myself, I´m too kind to people who don't deserve it, I can't communicate feelings, Because i always "feel" happy. I have anxiety when meeting and talking to people so i can't maintain eye contact, and sweat like a fat pig. there are more. But this is an example.

I work 07:00 to 16:00, I work out from 18:00 to 19:30/20:00.
I try my best too keep my look up, But that's not enough, I look fucking awesome, People can see i lift. when i started lifting it gave me some more confidence but not enough. Because still today i doubt myself in some parts of life. I still lack everything above also.

I have listened to the book No More Mister Nice Guy which was a huge eye opener to me, because it helped me understand, But of course wasn't made to fix me. I have gone 2 times to therapist which has helped a little. Still going of course.

Can you guys help me out with ideas, books (audio able) that can help me little more? I'm trying my best to be the best i can, But no doubt i fail miserably, Especially when it comes to communication.