I need a slap

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tl;dr: Ended LTR, moved out and now having second thoughts.

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I have made a decision to leave my LTR of 4 years and moved out about a 6 weeks ago.

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Pandemic, working from home, lack of social circle (we are both expats), cancer ( thankfully dealt with) caused her mental health to deteriorate- increasing anxiety, panic attacks, depression; and for last year I felt more like a carer than a partner. I had a vision, that if only she got better, our lives could go back on track with the plan- i.e. resettling in a different country, getting a house, starting a family (I am 37 she is 30).

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I finally came to conclusion that I have no more to give, that maybe I am enabling her behavior and stopping her from seeking more structured help. The relationship was putting huge emotional and mental stress on myself, with me not exercising clear boundaries, and loosing my own agenda and happiness.

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A month before I have moved out I had yet another chat with her that this is not sustainable situation for me and that my mental health is slowly taking a nose dive. She managed to make a 180 degrees turn this time- started a therapy, got out of the house more etc. she really pushed herself to get out of the rut.

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It was too late for me I think. Too much drama, too much trauma. I moved out.

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Now, a month in, she is still keeping to her therapy appointments, managed to get few female friends, seems to be getting on track with becoming healthy and happy again and is pinning for me to reconsider.

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I have managed to plunge myself into work which with lifting, wrestling and socialising kept me occupied 24/7. For last 8 days however I have been in isolation cause of covid, sitting in my new home with plenty of time to think and no energy to do much else.

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I started doubting my decision to leave her, and I know that she would be enthusiastic about any form of relationship with me. My mind is trying to trick me into believing that the second time around I would get my unicorn-happy-ending.

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I could really use a sobering slap on the face please.