I'm a recovering nice guy. I am pretty amazed and also angry how my childhood experience influence me until today. As Dr.Glover mentions in his book, my actions/behavior are anxiety based. Reflecting and changing habits and following the suggestion of many of you and authors and therapists helped me to make progress. Been on this for 4 weeks now. I was more confident and felt really good. But I did a mistake just recently. Went abroad and visited a city I used to work and met friends, family and so on. As they didnt know I am in a transition progress I unconsciously fall back in old pattern just to avoid any conflict or they get angry. Man I was so stupid. The good thing is: I realized that I fell back in old pattern. The bad side: I'm a little bit struggling to get back. It's like part of my f*cking (subconsciousness) brain prevents me to be more confident. Not avoiding conflicts etc.

Don't get me wrong. I am not miserable or depressed. Actually I am also f*cking amazed about the fact that there is something in my mind (subconsciousness) that wants to avoid any risks. The rest of my mind wants to kick these shitty thoughts out of my brain. It is in my own hand to kill these Beta thoughts. My question is: any thoughts or suggestion to get back to the right lane or road? Any activities you have in mind? Any techniques? Mental training?