Crosspost "If you could improve a dating app" from /r/IncelExit:
Hi everyone, this is my first post in this subreddit but just from looking through this is an atypically supportive little corner of the internet, so kudos for that. Long story short, I'm a budding app entrepeneur and my focus is basically to try to create more ethical versions of apps or their business models that basically everyone knows are just a net negative for our mental health, for our productivity and creativity, for society.
This sub should be well acquainted with the outrageously unethical business model that all the major dating apps adopt, and the tactics they employ to get - overwhelmingly men - to part with their cash.
I want to create a dating app that, unlike the current ones, isn't just a meat market where practically all women are funnelled towards a small number of men. Men often complain that dating apps are rigged against them, and they are right. But I think we should acknowledge that the system doesn't ultimately work for women or even for the small number of disproportionately successful men either. It's an absolutely callous example of social engineering.
My ideas to make a more ethical dating app so far are:
- Strong enforcement of bots and fake accounts via robust and mandatory verification
- No algorithms that favour a small number of popular men, putting them to the top of the stack in a self-reinforcing trick to keep women interested
- Limit to the number of chats a user can have at one time - once you match with someone and begin a conversation with them, your ability to keep swiping is restricted, essentially meaning you have one match at a time and are encouraged to at least see how it goes before returning to match with anyone else. I'm not convinced with this myself, more on why later.
- Non-profile cards that appear sometimes with messages encouraging both male and female users to be wary of the worse parts of our nature that come to the fore when using dating apps, so to give all sorts of people a chance rather than just expecting to hook a perfect individual, that relationships take time, effort and compromise, looks aren't everything, etc.
- Advice part of the app that has similar but more detail to the short messages outlined previously, along with mental health counsel
And that's really all I've got to be honest.
Here are the problems, specifically with creating this with an ethical model, not all the rest of it:
- Lots of chats open at one time basically makes people spread their attention across many matches but not actually make any significant progress with any of them. My only idea as highlighted above is just to restrict people to one-at-a-time, but I doubt people will like that, it would just been seen as an annoying limitation. Any ideas how to overcome this problem?
- On it's face, I just don't know why such an app would appeal to women more than the existing ones which do a very good job of making women think they're getting a great service out of these apps, even though these apps' own stats betray how abjectly they fail at precipitating meaningful, lasting relationships. Making dating apps more ethical generally means improving them from the men's perspective. How can I make an app like this appeal to women?
- Although I'm pondering ways to make it better, the card stack formula for dating apps has inherent problems in my assessment. It's practically impossible to avoid giving the impression that the dating scene is some never-ending pile of numbers, and an even better match for you is always just round the corner. Should I stick with it or scrap it and go with a completely different approach to virtual meeting? If so, what are the alternatives?
I would love to hear everyone's thoughts on any of this, and anything else you could add.
Much love x
p.s. I know the entire post is from a heteronormative perspective. I don't wish to exclude anyone it's just that the issues with dating apps seem to only apply to heterosexual interaction, but any input from gay, lesbian and bisexual people is equally appreciated.
Posted by white_pony01 | 30 October 2022 |
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