I don't know how or why but the past few months I've noticed i've been getting less and less triggered or angry. I used to be so sensitive and would get pissed by the silliest insults. I used to get so angry when my shit dad kept talking bad about me, when people called me a virgin or incel, when my older sister would make fun of me.

I play competitive video games and I used to mute everyone because I couldn't handle toxic players but recently I've stopped muting people.

But now it's like I just don't care, my heart still races from time to time, but the more time passes the less I feel irritated. People would say that's a good thing but it's not just that, it also feels harder to like someone either. I have two best friends and I haven't talk to them in weeks and we've been friends since childhood. I told them that I wanted to focus on my art because I wanted to earn money as an artist but the truth is I feel like I don't care about them, maybe I'm just a selfish person.

Come to think of it, I feel like i've always been selfish and that I didn't care about anyone but myself. People would always talk about love, enjoying time with someone or having a crush, but I feel like I've never had any of those and for most of my life I didn't really care but Idk... Most people would say that's a bad thing but Idk anymore I'm so confused.

I am seeing someone for my mental health but I don't feel like that's enough

Perharps talking to someone in dm would help