So my ex and I were three months in and then the summer came and we went to an LDR I had asked to make it into an LTR. not her. then comes the middle of may "OH BTW my friend KYLE is moving in" Idk what to do about this so I played it cool. Basically I keep saying she cant cuddle with guy friends and I didn't realize she was being a bitch and not just shit testing me but showing no respect for me, rationing out pieces of sex/stringing me along.

I keep saying I thought she was cheating on me with her sisters skinny ass black friend, Kyle, who just moved in. I mean he was skinnier than me and just "gay" so lifting doesn't mean shit on TRP but helps your self esteem. She always got immediately defensive even when I was joking. she basically admitted she had an emotional affair with him various ways, various times, and I didnt know when I was going to find another girl due to my abuse and not being hired despite being in college for jobs like retail. So I stayed and ultimately did this too myself.

Its hard to write all of this but am confronting all the pain I went through and the loneliness I NEVER felt when I was single. I understand the "shes not cheating on you" from my BP family and her slutty mom, as in looked like ganondorf in a bikini who won the hypergamy game of marrying a systems engineer. the relationship went on for 8 months total and She had said how I "stressed her out" all summer when she said herself she couldn't handle the stress of cheating. BP me tried to go back to her not once, but FOUR times all ending in her being a major bitch I cut contact with saying "I don't do hookups, drop the relationship shit!" and suddenly being into chokers.

I tried to go back a final time at school after going nuclear saying she never cared about me and cutting contact. Then tried to give it back to me saying she was "calling off the friendship" when I refused to set her up with other guys, which is what I went nuclear on her ass for. So ive gotten over the initial shock after our first break back in may, a terrible two week vacation at their lakehouse, and handling an abusive family all the while trying t shame me for having a gf and treating me like a rapist for wanting sex from my then current GF.

EDIT: New to Reddit. Also I know I made a shit ton of mistakes and went BP. Sue me. First relationship. Fuck off manginas on their theoretical nth ONS or STR. I'm allowed to make mistakes too