Preface 1: I never cheated on my wife.

Preface 2: the divorce has been finalized for about 6 weeks and we’re trying the whole “let’s remain friends” thing.

So I’ve come to the conclusion, with the help of my therapist, that most likely the ex simply wanted out of the marriage and was looking for any excuse to make it happen (she filed). I did wrong by being inappropriately flirty with an old friend from way back. The ex insisted that I must have been sleeping with old friend, used that as her primary ammo in the divorce, and is still riding that horse today.

Thing is, now old friend and I are talking even more and it’s starting to feel like a chance to actually hook up isn’t an impossibility. The shitty thing is, if old friend and I start seeing more of each other in any capacity, this is going to reinforce to the ex that she was right all along and I was cheating and lying exactly like she said.

It’s kind of feeling like I’ll have to make a choice: keep working on the “let’s be friends” thing with the ex or put effort into the pursuit of old friend, but both won’t work. I really don’t want the ex thinking she was right because that’s bullshit but the idea of maybe getting some strange is mighty appealing.

Damn it; I’m exhausted by this shit.