Greetings! First time posting here.

​

I was wondering where I could talk about this on the internet, then I found this Sub and it seems a proper place.

So, my history with the Red Pill started with a painful breakup with my ex-girlfriend three years ago. Since I was a teenager, I remember putting women in the center of my existence. Everything I did was to please women and "get a girlfriend". I was never the handsome guy, nor the coolest guy in my High School days, so I never really had the attention of the girls. When I got the attention of one, I desperately clinged to her, to be point where she could virtually do anything to me that it wouldn't compromise "our relationship".

Then, I met the Red Pill, and started to "learn about women behavior", fancy concepts like "SMV" and "poligamy" made a lot of sense. The point is that these concepts are a very convenient fantasy: get better looks, make more money and women will notice you more. Then I realized, after about 2 years consuming this content, that the so called "Red Pill" is just a biological explanation that endorses my old view. It provides an explanation of why after losing 90 pounds and studying at a prestigious college in my country made me get a girlfriend.

But slowly, I noticed that, nowadays, as a 27 year old med school student, the red pill changed my mindset about women and I'm struggling against it. I started seeing women as a nuisance, that will get in the way of my plans to go out there, work, make money and help people and that my peace of mind is more valuable than the physical touch of another human being.

Before you go writing that I'm thinking like this because I don't have anyone to have a relationship with, there is this crush from my High School days that, out of nowhere, started sending me messages on Instagram flirting and posting passive agressive stories about how I don't notice her. The point is that I notice, but I don't know how to tell her that I don't want to be in a relationship without hurting her feelings.

My conclusions of these three years consuming Red Pill content is that maybe what they say about VSM and everything else is true, but only because every human being wants to be in touch with someone who can provide value to their lives. Beauty is valuable. Money is valuable. Status is valuable. A funny person is valuable. After a long time consuming it, you start seeing yourself and everyone else as things (your looks, money status etc) and lose that part of yourself that believes in love.