I am a woman, posting on behalf of my partner. I've been watching him struggle for the last two (almost 3) years to see his son. His ex has blocked all communication. He calls his son who is 9, every single day, and she has let him speak once in a blue moon, on speaker phone with her present, in which she interrupts and calls my partner names in front of the child. He's not even allowed to ask where he lives. Out of the hundreds of times he's called in a year, he's probably been able to speak to him, maybe 20. She's moved to two different states and refuses to give her address, even refusing to put it on court forms listing "Confidential" even to the judge's dismay, yet when he's taken her to court, she gets scolded by the judge, and then nothing happens. She completely disregards court orders and the judge doesn't even seem to actually enforce them. His son has a two year old sister, that he isn't even allowed to know her name. If my partner mentions her, he is denied ALL communication for months as punishment, even the limited phone calls. We've had to track her down via google to even find out what states she's moved to.

When his son does talk to him the only questions are, "Mom says we're going to lose our house if you don't give us more money," or "why are you a liar?" One time, he called, and my partner was in the bathroom, it had been months since he was able to talk to his son. I knew that if he didn't answer, it would probably be several more months without him being able to hear his voice. I didn't even say hello, I hit the accept call button and knocked on the door and told my partner that his son was on the phone, only to unleash a tirade by her, with their son on the phone that "HOW DARE YOUR WHORE ANSWER THE PHONE!" and it made everything only worse.

He has no criminal history, he has no allegations of abuse. He's a good guy, that loves his son. I watch him with my daughter everyday and he's an amazing father. He's the get up in the middle of the night, changing diapers, hands on playing, kind of dad. But, he had an affair (technically-- they were still married but had been living apart and she was seeing other people as well,) but I got pregnant so now for that, she feels as though he needs to be punished.

Not only did she cut off contact with my Partner, but also the whole of his family. So this little boy is constantly fed that they all abandoned him. We don't know what we can do to push through this. We live in Orange County, we are not well off. He owes a lot in back support because once upon a time he was making a significant income. He lost that job due to her continued harassment of his workplace HR department and they decided he was a liability. When we went to court to change support, the judge said that he should be able to get another job and it will be revisited at a later date. She's successfully continued to push that date back, although we also have opened a case with the Child Support Services as well for reevaluation. He now makes less than a 1/3 of what he was making and half of everything goes to her, we don't make enough to get by. Meanwhile, he's still accruing several thousand in back support. It's been that way for an entire year now. She uses that back support to hold over his head to say that he's not doing enough and her reasons for why he shouldn't be around. In the last two years, he's had TWO visitations total, which was an hour long and she insisted she supervised. There is no court order that states that she has any right to do this, yet she completely ignores his rights and get's away with it.

What can we do? Are there any groups that can provide help? How do other people fight this? How can we get anyone to listen? I've been through a divorce myself, with two children, but the kids were just as much mine as they were his, and that they come first and we fortunately, are able to co-parent. I've never seen something like this so I don't know how to help him, but I've seen him hurt too much. Thank you in advance.