Long story short: 31M, took red pill after breaking off engagement last year w/borderline. Therapy, boundaries, TRP, all that for a year and I'm feeling good. But the glaring lack of judgement in my relationship past haunts me. I've uprooted a lot of my old tendencies but I know I'm still not out of the woods; I even come from your classic narcissist single mother upbringing, so it's a lot to unlearn.

Monk mode since the breakup (happily), but met a younger woman through friends a few months ago. She pursued, I'm interested, I have been effectively screening since. So far, she's taken repeated "no" well with respect and understanding, handled negs and jokes well, has finances sorted, pursuing education, good family ties, taken suggestions, submitted when necessary, has been attentive and generous. Clearly interested physically, not a slut as far as I know.

She finally asked me the other night if I was interested (after a group thing with friends) to which I honestly replied that I didn't know and told her the pro/con list. She took it well and asked thoughtful questions/how she could improve and dropped it.

My question is, are there any key tests you've used that have successfully screened potentials?

I'm aware of my FOO programming (borderlines, narcissists, closet psychos and controlling women of all types) and just wanting to check my blind spots before I continue down this road.

Not looking for a unicorn, not looking for a wife, very well aware of basic female nature stuff like hypergamy etc etc, just want to learn from other people's mistakes.

Thanks guys ✌🏼