Part 1: ( the other parts are in the comments on this one) I found MensRights today and was inspired to share the story. It begins in high school, we met and started dating end of freshman year in high school. For sake of names we will call her R. So R and I date in high school and everything is just fine, got married after high school because I was in the military. The first 3 years were just fine marriage wise. Don't get me wrong I am not a saint, nor am I reasonable 100% of the time but hey, I'm human. Anyway we were happy, and despite several deployments we persevered and had a nice fairly fruitful life and marriage, good times, friends, at least one small vacation a year, no abuse, all of our bills covered (she worked part time at a department store and was going to school part time as well). By all accounts things were going quite well. The first sign of problems came in the form of pregnancy in year 3 of the marriage, she had stopped taking it birth control and not told me and had become pregnant which I took like a champ I might add. 9 months later we lost the baby due to complications that arose as she had started smoking and drinking as well as other things in secret. We were devastated, we had prepared to be parents and had gotten the house ready and were ready to take on being parents the best we could. However we worked through it and everything seemed like it would work out for us, we would try again for a family soon. Fast forward to the last year of my active duty. I had just come back from a deployment in year 3 and probably wouldn't be deployed again before I went to reserve status, let me tell you that was a huge relief, we started planning what would happen when I hit reserve (I had been going to online and night classes the whole time.) and how our family would be made.