Crosspost "Quit saying Bassnectar "groomed" adult women, it actually makes us women look bad! Here's why" from /r/bassnectar:

If you bought a car for over its actually value, if you accepted a job with a low salary, if you got drunk and wrecked your car, who is responsible? It's YOU. You are responsible for your own decisions. And just like having consensual sex with someone who you later dislike, these are all mistakes, we all regret making mistakes, you don't now get to use "I didn't know better" as an excuse to blame them on other people. Of course you didn't know better, that's why you made mistakes!

At what age can a woman be responsible for picking her sexual partner? If over the age of consent is not enough, then how old? If a 20 year old woman is mentally childish, and someone had sex with her thinking she is an adult who can be responsible for her own action, who's fault is it?

People kept acting like these women were 5 year olds tricked by candy and puppies. Bassnectar is not a family member or a teacher/professor who might have an innocent reason to care and help these women. A complete stranger starts to care about your life, helping you out financially, clearly he has other motives. To claim these women in their early 20s were completely ignorant of that is disingenuous, even if that's the truth, it's still them being dumb!

To say Bassnectar shouldn't date these adult women because of their age is implying that Bassnectar should have knew that women, even over the age of consent, maybe even going to college, are still so immature, dumb, and lack the ability to make a good judgment, that they shouldn't be trusted to give consent.

And if women who're over the legal age were still "too young" to give consent, should they be trusted at work with complex tasks? Should they be allowed to vote? Because making an informed decision based on understanding political, economical, and social impact of candidates' positions is hell of a lot harder than "should I sleep with this person?".

From these women's own statements, Bassnectar never deceived them, he was open and up front about what they were getting into. They could have rejected him anytime if they didn't like what he was proposing. What is the repercussion of rejecting him? They weren't fear for their lives, they weren't depended on him to survive, there was no physical harm, there was no job/career loss, there was no threat of any kind, they weren't even in the same city most of the time.

So why didn't they turn him down?

Maybe they were sexually attracted to a talented celebrity of whom they were already fans of, and the continued relationship and money they got were just the cherry on top. If this is the reason then there's no "grooming".

Or they had no sexual attraction to Bassnectar, they would have never ever slept with him but he groomed them with money and free shows etc. and they didn't want that to stop, so they couldn't say no. If this is the reason why, please please please tell me how is that different from anyone with a sugar daddy? Bonus question, if an of-age woman has sex with an older man for money and luxury, at what age can she be called a gold digger?

People also kept bring up Bassnectar's age and pretend 35 is so old. I don't care if he's 70! It takes both sides for this to happen! If a woman is not willing to have sex with an old man for material gains, then no matter how much the creepy old man tries it will not work!

Could Bassnectar have done something shady or even illegal? Yes that's a possibility, but arguments for these women are full of holes and bad logics I can't just take their side. Until there's actual evidence it's all hearsay, and I'm not going to blindly believe women just because they are the same gender as me.

Posted by Killer_Coc | 12 July 2020 | Link