When ultimately a guy tries to make that kind of move, what exactly should I do or say? My main fear is using commitment/sex as a bargaining chip and him just saying “ok let’s commit” solely for sex regardless of whether the feelings are there mutually. I’m not afraid of them ghosting over it because that’s good riddance - but there are good ways and bad ways to decline.

I cannot handle casual sex, tried it before and I feel shitty after, I cannot relate to women who do it and have fun - that’s great for them though.

I‘m not sure if maybe muddying the boundary and just saying something like “I don’t want to have sex until we’re really sure of eachother” would be better (because it isn’t just saying - commit to me and then I’ll fuck you) or worse (I haven’t drawn a clear line).

I also think to myself - dating/sex/commitment IS bargaining lol. It’s making a deal with another person and negotiating (or hopefully refusing to negotiate) your expectations/needs/boundaries. So why is it so wrong to have a standard when it comes to sex? Because sex IS a bargaining tool, just like taking a woman on dates and buying gifts and things like that are bargaining tools. Why are we expected to freely fuck any guy who can show up and buy us dinner a few times? Kinda sick.