Hi, For some background, I have been following TRP since early highschool and am in my second year of college. Though I've read a lot, it is obvious that I have not taken any action to implement the knowledge.

As with most RP horror stories, I developed oneitis for a childhood friend who I have had a crush on for years. The first time we reconnected in 2016, we hung out and she told me she had sex with 11 guys, got naked in the stripclub and made out with strippers, the whole hoe life confession. Obviously this shattered my heart, what made it worse was that I told her that I had feelings for her over text afterwards...

TRP lessons become so apparent when you mess up like that, because she ended up ignoring me for weeks. I deleted her from all SM to attempt some form of recovery for myself but caved in on finals week due to stress and wanted a girl to talk to. Readded her, didn't say anything.

A week later she shows up telling me she's suicidal and feels like she has no use for anybody. I felt so good during this, just out of spite and hatred for what I put myself through.

I cheer her up and then we're snapchatting/texting on a daily basis.

Yesterday I went to see her again and drove an hour to find myself in her apartment. Before I got there, she said that we were just meeting as friends and that if I stayed over I'd have the couch. This was the first red flag that went off in my head, but I had already agreed and figured I would appreciate the company anyway. We kind of sat around her apartment and talked for a while, and it was really difficult to find an opening for any physical escalation. She complained about her boyfriend and asked me if she should have went to go see him. I said that only she could make that decision for herself. We went for sushi and originally had plans to see a museum the next day. She tries to bring alcohol into my car so she can get drunk later, and I don't let her as we are both underage, with police scouting the highways. I drive her an hour back to our hometown and she convinces me to drop her off at her ex fuckbuddy's house. I got some light kino off in the car while she was comfortable, just some light touching/poking her playfully. However, to make things worse, I caved into her request and she had me stop by a walgreens so she could get soup for her ex. I told her she could just walk if she wanted to, and that he was her boyfriend -- not mine. She responded by saying he wasn't her boyfriend.

She cancelled plans for the museum a couple hours later. I was just a free ride for her and she ended up spending the night with someone else.

I feel ashamed and totally ripped off. I know it is illogical to spite her for any of this since that's just how things work, and that I should have known better. I suppose I am just mentally and physically weak as I am right now. It is painfully easy to see that I am the ultimate loser in this situation and that I've essentially dug myself into a hole. The sad part is that I still really care for this girl. It's just the second time I've actually hung out with her, and I don't have much experience. We did have a good time as friends, but I guess that's my problem. I want to see if there is anything I can do to make things more intimate.

What could I have done to correct my mistakes in these instances, besides just dropping her from the getgo? I know I have a lot to work on. I'm willing to improve.