First off I want to appreciate what TRP had done to me (and the community) over the years. Thank you for being an honest platform for men to better themselves.

Today marks the day I fucked up and all hell came loose. Gentleman, I'm falling and I can't get back.

After years of being employed overseas, I came back to my country with unique/unorthodox professional skillset - I am an MBA yet not technical in one field. I was also a bit 'jumpy' in my career. I never stuck around for more than one year. I was always travelling to new countries (20 so far). I returned to my home country to nothing, no family, no friends. I had to start from the bottom. Worked the hospitality shift cleaning toilets. I remember having to wear an arm-length glove to scoop poop from a clogged toilet. I worked in retail at the same time - selling clothes. Tough times don't last but tough people do...

My mentor offered me the opportunity of a lifetime. He offered to pull some strings and get me into a Big4 consulting firm. I got in. But didn't play the politics game right and fucked up...big time. I spent 6 months there and they fired me at the end of my probation today. My feedback is that it 'wasn't enough'. During my time there, I (without exaggeration) eat my breakfast at my work desk every morning at 7:30am and left the office at 6:00pm. I gave it my all - and I got 'not enough' back. I feel defeated, unworthy and emotionally wrecked.

I need to get up, and fast.

I lead a healthy lifestyle: I do Muay Thai every day and a spar and compete occasionally. I eat a clean balanced diet with lots of green and fiber. I do drink 2-3 beers every other day thought.

To anyone out there: If would like to help a troubled and lost fellow man - please reply.

Problem 1 is: I don't have much life savings, and I will need to start looking for income within the next 3 months. I thought about commitment-free things like riding my bicycle and deliver food. But its not worth it from a cost-benefit standpoint. And it's a difficult time to get hired as most businesses had confirmed their xmas roasters. Please tell me if I'm making up excuses.

Problem 2: I don't even know how to 'brand' myself now but a 'master of all jack of none' should I own it and be that master of all guy or start digging in a field? I'm 30yrs old. When I was overseas, the fact that I was ethnic, gave me a leg up the competition and I would get hired to jobs unrelated to anything I've ever done. But in my home country, jobs seems highly specialised and specific. I looked into talking to one of those 'personal branding' gurus who quoted me at $3k. Should I even list these 6 months on my CV or like it didn't happen (i.e. I was caring for a family member)?

Problem 3: Concurrently to commencing the job, I quit adderall cold turkey (after 6 years of daily usage). I had depression and anxiety (not the alarming kind - more like: I don't want to go get out of bed - which I always tell myself to suck it up. But also at work I would go to the bathroom or the 'multi faith room' just to close my eyes for literally 10mins and/or be alone. I reckon this fact might have worsen my performance at the job but I don't know if I should link the two.

Thank you to whoever made it thus far. Sorry to spill the beans like that. I have no one to talk to.