I have recently begun my process of unplugging after living 22 years of putting pussy on a pedestal(actual age to dismiss confusion is 22). However there is a blue pill part of me that I cannot kill and because of this I need more than a "nuclear bleach red pill download'. I am in love with the idea of the divine feminine. The overarching theme of a woman being the identity of a nation and a people. A life giver and lover. I know women cannot love a man the way a man wants to be loved but my brain is at a point where it will not break itself and forego the possibility of finding a true relationship. Although I know that hope is gone especially with my generation and where our culture is headed... ironically war where I'll be looked upon to fight in but what for? I don't have women to defend. Our brains haven't evolved to fit the drastically new paradigm and all I find myself doing is hoping for a family. I'm Russian so I apologize if my english is off. For further context of what I mean Youtube search Пелагея - Гимн России (2016-09-08) it is the opening to a hockey match in which one of our well known singers sings the national anthem and I don't know how else to describe what I am getting after. She becomes the nation when she sings. She transcends to what we would be protecting. I need a hill to die on. I know that was a lot of word salad but any information or advice you have I would appreciate. -Yuri