This post was inspired by puaSenator's excellent post here from last week.
One of the first things I discovered when I got into sales as a younger man (a field I have since left), is that successful businessmen don't respect or like salesmen who call them and start acting like "nice guys." If you say you're sorry for calling at an inconvenient time, if you ask them how their day is going, if you act in any way as though you want to be friends with them, they will shut you right the fuck down.
Why is this? Why don't they like the young, rookie salesman who calls them up and immediately starts kissing their ass? Is it because businessmen only like to buy things from assholes? Of course not.
The reason why successful businessmen generally loathe this kind of salesman is because they know damn well that if someone is calling them up on the phone, out of the blue, and wants to talk to them about money, then they're trying to make a buck. Whatever the salesman says, he's not really sorry for calling (if he was he wouldn't have done it), he doesn't actually give a shit about the businessman's day, he doesn't want to be friends, he just trying to make a buck.
Compare this to the pushy, hard-closing salesman who calls the businessman. The pushy salesman puts up no pretense that he's not trying to sell you something. That's a given, of course he's trying to make a buck. What the pushy salesman spends his time doing is convincing the businessman, with the absolute, unshakeable confidence of a man who's done it a thousand times before, that his product will also help the businessman make a buck as well.
Now the parallels between the salesman and the guy trying to get laid are well known. What I would like to point out, here, is the parallel between the businessman and the woman you are trying to fuck.
The fact is, when you approach a woman you just saw at a bar, or in a grocery store, or online, they all know that the reason you are approaching them is that you are trying to fuck them. That's why any kind of game that involves you trying to act like a "nice guy" who is mainly interested in "who they are as a person" or some such shit tends not only to fail miserably, but even leads to the girl thinking that the dude is "creepy."
Just as the businessman tacitly understands that the salesman is really only calling in order to make a buck, women tacitly understand that a guy in a bar is really only approaching her because he wants to fuck her.
Now here's the subtlety: Women will want your attention more if they genuinely doubt, for a moment, that you want to fuck them (I'm talking attractive women here, not fatties who know they have no chance). But "nice guy" game, which is based on the pretense that the guy is really just interested in "her personality" or "who she is as a person" doesn't convince her of that at all. It merely convinces her that you really want to fuck her, would be willing to take all manner of shit from her in order to do so, and, most importantly, are afraid to be more direct in your manner because you don't actually have something for her that's worth having.
