What level of shit testing is this/what did I miss?

rad_dynamic · 2018-04-01T20:45:11+00:00

From my experience, you telling her you're interested was a bad move.

Everytime I've told a girl I'm interested in her first it has made them disappear just as fast as they came. Remember, you must show equal, or better, less emotional investment than she does.

Girls control sex, guys control the relationship ladder.

I would ignore her for a couple days to see if she's still interested. If she hits you up again deploy these tactics and be more distant than you was before.

Iwannachokekatie · 2018-04-01T21:15:53+00:00

Did you do anythin even remotely akin to escalation?

It sounds like you go out on dates with her with a purely platonic mindset and then you're upset you didn't get your balls fondled.

[deleted] · 2018-04-01T20:43:04+00:00

You’re the problem. Your scarcity mentality means she’s leading and you’re following.

osirise · 2018-04-02T00:34:29+00:00

Man there’s a lot to unpack here.

She was into you when you were out of reach and banging someone else.

She’s HB4. Most you should do is let her come over to your place for adult entertainment.

You’ve already spent multiple dates with her? Why? You should be looking for hotter women.

Once you told her you were interested it was over. Did you bring it up? I’m on mobile so I can’t scroll up. Never bring this up. You’re supposed to be a mystery but you can’t keep your mouth closed and telling her your feelings.

She needs to know you have options. She needs to wonder what you’re doing in your spare time. She has to basically think about you the way you sit around thinking about her. The problem is SHES AN HB4! So the point should be moot.

When she asks you out on a group date before banging her. Say no. It’s really simple but really hard to do for most guys. Just say no. It’s ok. Give her whatever reason you’d like, it doesn’t really matter. It matters that you say no. With any luck she’ll think you’re an asshole and maybe hen she’ll go down on you.

Don’t get emotional. They notice. It doesn’t get them wet like the movies say it will.

My advice moving forward? You blew this already but this is great news because SHES AN HB4!

Ignore and move on. Don’t text her or communicate until she starts. When/if she does start. Act like you don’t care. Because you shouldn’t. The only play here is to have her come to your house and watch Netflix with some wine. Throw in a sexual joke so the hint is damn obvious.

Don’t take her out, don’t spend emotions on her, treat her the way she wants to be treated. She told you how when you were banging someone else.

gone-away-gone-381 · 2018-04-03T09:04:33+00:00

Pretty sure all I wanted was to fuck her a few times and be done with it, as her previous flirtatious behaviour indicated she’d be the best kind of dirty in bed.

I was just horny and probably felt sorry for her because of how pathetic she used to look/behave when I was with the HB7. She had no idea at the time, so she would be really trying her best with me in front of the HB7. She was doing this for months.

I’m pretty sure I first ruined it when I told her about HB7. Then I really sealed the deal when I said I “liked” her. It was horniness mixed in with pity. She’s basic/lacks depth, so it’s not even her personality which makes up for the HB4.

The dates were weird, but she seemed to be starting them. She even asked me to see her on V day to give me a “gift” - only when I realised it was V day did I say no.

I’ll take on the advice given here if she comes back for more. I’ll ignore her and be vague. You’re right - that’s what she wants. That is what she rewards by throwing herself at me - giving her nothing.

Psychological learning theory effectively demands this - continue the behaviour which is most positively reinforced on a consistent basis.

My best relationship happened when I had this kind of mindset - I’m just not sure when I thought being a little beta bitch was okay again.

Thank you, gents.

Title	What level of shit testing is this/what did I miss?
Author	gone-away-gone-381
Upvotes	1
Comments	5
Date	April 1, 2018 8:18 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/88tonh/what_level_of_shit_testing_is_thiswhat_did_i_miss/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/what-level-of-shit-testing-is-thiswhat-did-i-miss.126959 https://theredarchive.com/post/126959

Comments