Asked out my childhood crush and she said yes. Next thing I know her friends just randomly join us for a drink at the bar. My nerves for asking her out were maybe 30% , 100% being difusing a nuclear bomb... my nerves for meeting her friends on the other hand... probably closer to 65%... I was fucking petrified. I thought, if I don't impress her friends now she's gonna leave me immediately and they're all gonna laugh at me. It's safe to say, I absolutely crumbled, I was stumbling over my words, overcompensating , changing my personality to be a 'nice guy' and kissing their asses.... this was the beginning of the end with this girl. But not because I didn't impress her friends, because one simple change in the dynamic completely threw me off.

If I could go back and tell myself something in that moment, it would he this. There is literally no losing when it comes to meeting her friends and family. People are not attracted to perfection, they are attracted to people who make them feel good, perfect people dont make others feel good they make them feel inferior and uncomfortable... isn't the most common compliment about popular celebrities "I love that guy he's so relatable " it's not "he's so perfect".... think about it, would you trust a girl who always had the perfect thing to say? Who was trying hard to get your approval? No of course not.

Truth is, being controversial is the most attractive thing. Other people saying they dont like you will make her double down on why she likes you, your flaws will make her laugh, make her feel positive things which is what you want, as will hers. She will feel like an insider who understands something that nobody else does. And your flaws will bring her confort and make her feel at ease about her flaws. If you somehow managed to pull off being perfect (which would certainly just make you look insecure), she would just feel inadequate around you and would become resentful of you.

Finally let's imagine the worst case scenario, you are complete yourself, but her family and friends hate you, they tell her how much they hate you and now your girl leaves you.... Good.... if she cares more about their views than her own , and can't be bothered to look past the surface level interactions her friends and family have had with you to see your good qualities. Why would you want to be with her anyway? You've just polarised her and you can move on to someone who can see your positive sides.

And of course if they do like you, you've made more friends

It's a win-win