so, I think this opportunity has passed, but I'd like to generalize here, so please go off of the general quesiton in the title, not this specific case.

I think that I totaly turned off this girl that I was SUPER into by playing the usual confidence, cocky thing and showing social proof. I mean I showed her how many other people initiated chats with me on dating sites but I seriously deleted myself from those sites, it's just not what I'm looking for.

I'm like a 6-7 right now in terms of just looks but get plus points for other reasons, don't want to get into detials - but at the moment I think she's a 3 or 4 (don't know exactly, because I met her some time ago.) I am super super into her but she is being very turned off by my cockiness.

So, I'm wondering if you guys think that the usual rules change if someone personally has self-esteem issues (which she's mentioned, I don't know how that's even possible because she's very good at making plans and directing her life and has accomplished a lot) .

She was kind of soft rejected by the guy that she has her heart set on, but I think this is a bullshit reason for not meeting me, since she is on dating sites (where I saw her).

so, how do the rules change? And before you guys say that I should be going for prettier women, I am allowed to have whatever preferences I want, first of all, even if they center around personality, and secondly, I know she worked on her body in the past and I don't mind sticking around while she gets back into that kind of lifestyle, I don't think it takes very long for anyone (male or female.) the real issue is that we just failed to connect, and she gave my cockiness as a specific reason.

so what are your thoughts here guys? do the rules change?