Hello Seddit!

So, i've been trying to get myself out there and, over time, improve on myself as well. During this experience I didn't feel like much had change up until today.

Yesterday I went out with some friends to their college barbecue, we had a couple of beers before heading there and some more at the bbq. I had a really amazing wingman over the night (the guy is fucking amazing, he would set me up in a conversation with a chick in less than 1 min). I managed to talk to 4-5 girls but only one seemed kinda interested so i kept talking to her. By this time I was starting to feel really tipsy. But I didn't care and kept on drinking . Over the course of the night I kept on talking with the girl and her not-so-hot female friend. At about 1am the girls went to the bathroom together. I took the chance and went back to talk to my friends for no longer than 2 minutes. I went back to the same spot but then they passed by me and went to talk to another guy. At first i was a bit bummed out, but I had one last beer and went home with my friends.

Well the girl and I did share facebooks prior to us splitting and so today, I decided to ask the girl whatever I did that made her just back off. What she said really made me sad cause she responded that both she and her friend thought I sounded a bit like a douche. I was super annoyed at myself because I used to be the typical nice guy. I used to be the guy who would do everything to make the girl feel good and have a pleasant time but someone who wouldn't break any boundaries of kino or sexual approach. But for some reason (may be alcohol or not), I now realize that I did sound like a douche. And most likely spoke and looked like a douche.

It's the first time I realize it and it scares me that I've changed to a really unpleasent person a long time ago and I haven't noticed, more and more memories of simple daily conversations are coming up and in each there is a moment where I realize I'm an unpleasant fuck to be around.

This might be the reason several social enigmas on my life have gone horribly in the last 2 years. For now I just want be fun to be around, someone people feel comfortable with and not repulsive about me. Any tips and advice are welcomed,

Thank you all so very much for reading this!

PS: I have another topic I want to talk to you guys about and know your opinions on the matter and will likely post it in the near future. Also sorry, Englando no main language.

Edit: Editing some grammar.