This happened to me quite a lot lately

Tombstone31 · 2014-09-02T13:14:45+00:00

Approaching can lower your value; being the wingman can heighten your value. Combine this with good looking wingmen and you have a problem.

Talk to your friends about this and establish a rule: the person who approaches gets first dibs. Either "call" a girl before you go in (my favorite method) or establish a subtle way of calling a girl once you're all in set ("this is Jessica, she's a dork" = I like her). Tell your wingmen not to outshine you with the girl you want - they only talk to her minimally, and maybe even do things to lower their value/raise yours in her eyes.

spoonclaymore · 2014-09-03T16:42:36+00:00

Part of the human experience. I think you have to just keep on trying. And, what is the goal here? Are you looking for just a one time hook-up or are you looking for something a little more serious? It sounds like you are just at a bar having a good time, you step up and break the ice, suddenly you have bridge the gap and now everyone is having a good time. The girl you wanted is talking to your friend. Consider this - you were the one that broke the ice, maybe the girls were having the same conversation about approaching you and she had already established to her friends which one she wanted so the rules engagement were already established. Tombstone already pointed out there should be an established protocol before you engage. Sound advice. Don't give up - if it were easy everyone would have someone and no one would go home solo unless they wanted to.

ampedd_up · 2014-09-02T08:08:59+00:00

Sadly this is the result of the incredibly superficial society that were a part of today…

My advice to you? Ditch them and get the girls on your own. Sounds pretty selfish, I know. But don't get me confused, your friends didn't do anything wrong (nor did the girls). It's simply a matter that can't really be helped by trying to "fix" something in the group. Like you can't just tell your friends, "Guys, from now on I want you all to focus on them less so that they can give me the attention". It just wouldn't work that way. You can't simply "be more assertive" either because in the end, the girl is going to pick the guy she likes best out of that group. On the other hand if you go out solo, you're your only competition. This courage is a powerful tool you posses, use it to your advantage and make you the alpha male.

Best of luck.

2014-09-02T11:42:28+00:00

Your problem is that you've been so focused on overcoming your approach anxiety that you've never really considered what comes after that.

Title	This happened to me quite a lot lately
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	4
Date	September 2, 2014 7:53 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2f8phf/this_happened_to_me_quite_a_lot_lately/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/this-happened-to-me-quite-a-lot-lately.1288631 https://theredarchive.com/post/1288631

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