Confidence: everyone wants it, but nobody is sure of what it is.

We have so many questions, so many doubts. The more we search for a definition or meaning, the more confused we become and feel.

I'll use two of my favorite books on game as an example. For instance, we read Models and Mark Manson tells us that confidence is all about being vulnerable, but then we read The Manual and W. Anton tells us to avoid vulnerability in order to express confidence.

How can that be? How can they both be right? If a man wants to achieve true core confidence, how can he manage his emotions and his behavior regarding vulnerability and confidence?

Let's clear things up, shall we? Mark Manson and W. Anton agree on what confidence means, and on who a confident man is but their concepts of vulnerability are different. What "vulnerability" means to Mark Manson is what "confidence" means to W. Anton. What "vulnerability" means to W. Anton is what "neediness" means to Mark Manson.

Vulnerability (for W. Anton)/Neediness (for Mark Manson) - A vulnerable needy man is a man who has no boundaries; a man who is willing to sacrifice himself, change who is, his character and personality for women; a man who is submissive, negative and has no purpose in life; a man who tries to impress; a passive man who is not masculine and plays the victim role, tells is sad story of rejection and asks for pity in return. A man who expects life to have mercy on him without the minimum of his effort.

Confidence (for W. Anton)/Vulnerability (for Mark Manson) - A confident vulnerable man tolerates his uncertainty. He puts himself in a place where he can be rejected, because he has audacity, he is courageous and he knows he will be just fine. He is optimistic, he takes responsibility for his fate and life. He is bold and he makes a move. He pulls the trigger. He respects women, loves them, but he is never intimidated by them, knowing they are human beings just like him. He lets go and he surrenders to the moment. He leads. Why? Because he is a masculine man, he tolerates not being certain all the time and deals with the vicissitudes of life.