I've been on a couple dates with a girl I met on OKC, and while things go very well in person, she's very aloof and distanced when it comes to texting. She is very ambivalent when it comes to setting up dates (I know ideally I'd be setting them up on the date in the first place). She's flaked a couple times, and has gone as far as to suggest that I pay for everything to compensate her just for coming out to see me. I had been thinking about the best way to express how I felt without coming off as needy or too attached. In my younger days, as an AFC, I sent a lot of these "ultimatum" texts and it always ended very badly, so I wanted to avoid it. Here's how it went down (the conversation was pretty rapid, so I'm omitting times for expediency's sake):

Me: So you wanna do 7 PM tonight? We had already made plans but had left the time open-ended

Her: the thing is I'm in my PJs and I don't wanna change.

Me: I don't mind if you come out in your PJs. Let's both rock our PJs. Don't let her off with a bullshit lame excuse like that

Her: if you come to my part of town

Me: but your part of town is boring

Her: haha fine if you pay I'll go

Me: honestly, I like seeing you, but you flake a lot and when you're asking me to pay for your company, it's not really attractive. It makes you seem shallow and me a chump. If that's how it's going to be I'd rather stay home with my book I was very careful with my wording here. I didn't want to come off as angry because that implies an unreasonable amount of attachment and emotional investment after just a couple dinners. I think it was a very even and well-worded text overall, which cut exactly to the heart of the matter

A few minute pause in the conversation

Her: I treat my friends to dinner because I know they'll treat me another time. thanks for being honest about your feelings, it's refreshing Yeah, I know, I don't like how she used the F-word either, but this date is essentially the make or break moment where we figure out what kind of relationship we're going to be having

Me: I propose a compromise. I'll come to you and you treat me

And from here it was just a matter of setting up logistics because I have never been to her area of town before.

Moral of the story is just to be completely honest, particularly if the girl is expecting something of you that you don't want to do. Doing something solely to please or impress a girl is a fast track to being an AFC in the friend-zone. That being said, when a girl does something you don't like, it's your responsibility to let her know, and if you don't it's unreasonable to hold a grudge against her for it. Additionally, stating your emotions is not an intrinsically AFC move. It's all about the execution. If you're defensive and upset about a girl flaking, it sends the wrong message. If you let her know that you're unhappy with how she wastes your time when you could be doing something more productive, you sound like an adult.