u/steezout made a post yesterday that had a solid message, but I think needed more elaboration to really resonate with people.

Approaching a hot can definitely be as simple as you want to make it, but it certainly isn't always easy. Even if you've done a hundred approaches, you still could experience the same level of approach anxiety that you did during your first couple approaches.

But the more you do it and the more you force yourself to power through that anxiety and talk to these girls anyway, the easier and quicker it becomes to ignore that anxiety. You'll learn to stop playing out the worst case scenarios in your head the second they start because you'll know that serves no purpose other than to keep you from doing what you want in that moment. You'll have learned from experience that the worst case scenario is actually incredibly inconsequential and harmless. Your ego could be shot the first however many rejections, but you'll learn that it won't kill you, that you're more formidable than you're imagination let's you think you are, and you'll slowly reshape your self concept into a harder more ambitious version of yourself because experience will inform you of what you're capable of.

As far as the simplicity of walking up to a girl, talking to her, and getting her number goes, that's pretty much the process in the broadest terms. However, add in tools and ideas of PUA and self improvement, and this process becomes a lot less daunting.

1. You see a hot girl and you know you want to talk to her: Immediately quell any negative thoughts that creep in- Remember from past experiences approaching that rejection will not kill you, keep in mind that like 70% of how she responds could be from exterior things going on in her life that have nothing to do with you, and if anything, practice the 5 second rule and just approach without giving yourself the chance to overthink.

2. You approach and attempt to open this girl: If you can't think of an observational openers like "Hey I was wondering if you could point more towards Starbucks/ Wow, you are doing that outfit all kinds of favors!" just own it, be honest, say "Hey, I don't have a clever line to drop on you, I just thought you looked great and wanted to meet you". Look for social cues: if she's smiling, making eye contact, stopping to actually talk, engaging in conversation, asking you questions, that's your sign to keep talking to her (but not for too long!) If she's walking away from you, giving short responses, on her phone, not engaging you, she's not interested- and that's okay! You don't know this girl, there could be a hundred different reasons she doesn't want to talk to you right now that have nothing to do with you. Take this opportunity to practice empathy and not take things personally. Have the self respect to remove yourself from an unfulfilling interaction, and exit with grace "Hey I'll let you get going, have a good rest of your day!"

3. You're engaging in conversation with this girl: Actually talking to the girl and not just immediately jumping to get a phone number is one of the most crucial and overlooked aspects of successfully locking down a number and a date. So many guys open a girl and say "Hey I thought you were cute, can I get your number?" and that's it. All you're communicating is "I'm judging my willingness to hang out with you based solely off your looks" If you're a hot guy, you'll probably still get some numbers, but you're skipping an opportunity to communicate to the girl "I think you're physically attractive, but that's not enough to really keep me interested. I want to give you the chance to show me you're as interesting of a person as you look, but I know my own value and look for the same in someone I want to date". You're screening this girl just as much as she's screening you, don't forget that. And keep it relatively short, give yourself and her a time limit while also making yourself look busy/ have other priorities by saying "I've gotta get going/ meet up with some friends, but what's your name/ what're you up to/ what do you like to do?" That time limit takes pressure off of her and will make her more willing to talk to you because she knows she won't be trapped in conversation with this random guy the whole day. And keep the conversation light and fun, and flirty if you can. Don't be afraid to tease, don't be afraid to defend your interests, don't just agree with everything she says if you genuinely aren't interested with something. Have. Fun. Conversations are supposed to be fun, so do and say things for the sake of self amusement. It's attractive, it makes you look infinitely less desperate. That honestly should be the mindset going into any approach, you're doing this to see if you can have a fun engaging interaction, and you're not necessarily depending solely on her to provide that fulfillment. Show her you're your own source of happiness and fulfillment, and that you could be that source for her too.

4. Ask for her number: Hopefully you'll have found at least one common interest in those few minutes talking "Hey, we should definitely go grab a drink at that bar you were talking about" and if not, again just be candid with her "Well you're fun to talk to. Let's go grab some coffee sometime, I'd love to get to know you some more". If she puts up some resistance, it's okay to push a bit, but not too aggressively. Girls don't like being put under pressure, so do what you can to relieve her of it. Again, keep it playful and show you're not taking things to seriously "That's cute you think I'm asking you on a date, I honestly am just interested in getting to know you more and then maybe I'd consider taking you on a date." Make it clear that you are speaking as a man who is attracted and potentially interested in this girl he wants to get to know. Don't let yourself get categorized as platonic by being too "friendly".

5. So you got her number, now what? When you first text her, joke or refer to something you both talked about in person "Hey it's Reaver_! I hate that it's only Tuesday because you talking about that bar really makes me wish I could go out dancing now.." see if her response warrants another cute/ funny text or two, and then try and set up a date if you didn't in person "Hey what's your schedule look like this week?" and then set up plans on her free day. Have something prepared, don't ask her what she wants to do, tell her what you have planned for you both. Again, take pressure off, make sure she has as little to worry about as possible. And most importantly DO NOT TRY TO HAVE A FULL ON CONVERSATION OF TEXT. No "Hey how are you? How was your day? What are you doing?". None of that. That's for in person, or over the phone if it's gonna be a while before yall can actually meet up. If she initiates that kind of convo, keep it short and know when to end/ stop responding, or even better, try to turn it flirty/ sexual. Text is great for that, it's not great for deep meaningful conversations. Sexual is fun and exciting and that will make her look forward to seeing you more than anything else over text. But you have to look for cues to do so, you can't just drop a "I want to fuck you" out of nowhere. Use misinterpretation, see how she responds to it, and if she doesn't just dismiss it, that's your sign to keep probing. Sometimes there's a need to keep yourself relevant in her mind over messaging, but that's with flirty and sexual texts, or fun/ quick little messages like "Just watched that tv show you're obsessed with and I can totally see why".

Honestly, now that I've typed this out, I don't know how much justice I've actually done for not "Over complicating" things, but hopefully I'm able to help some of you with breaking down that process of Approach, Talk, Close process. Good luck, y'all. And thanks again u/steezout for bringing up this topic!