So, I'm generally no stranger to clubs and approaching at clubs but this is usually when I've got alcohol in me, and for the first time I went sober and I felt so stuck in my head about everything. (The reason being I'm trying to stop drinking for a while to reach some fitness goals)

I'll start from the beginning though. I made a friend during my travels and he happened to live in my city so we met up a couple of times when I got back in my city. And he was hosting a party at his place and invited me. At first I figured I'd know no one there so I shouldn't go, it might be awkward, etc. But I'm trying to expand my social circle and my social circle game so I figured I'd go, make some new friends, see how it goes and I can always dip if necessary. I went, and I started socializing and saying hi to quite a good amount of people (it was actually much easier because they were mutual friends and we could talk about our mutual friend).

Eventually, there's these two hot girls that come sit somewhat near me and this dude I met at the party, and I tell them they're welcome to bring their chairs closer to us and they oblige and we start chatting for a bit. One seems a bit stuck up but the other (who was hotter) was pretty chatty. Both were only temporarily staying in my city for a working holiday. I wasn't really able to be flirty here unfortunately and it was a very platonic vibe (I'm not sure how to work on that tbh, sometimes I'm just very jokey and flirty and other times I'm social but platonic)... anyway I was here more to make friends so it didn't bug me that much. Eventually our conversations seem to drop off here and there so I just got up and went to go talk to other people at the party. I saw these girls around at the party and we'd chat a bit here and there but nothing significant. I overheard them kept saying to each other they want to leave and go out on their own somewhere for about for quite some time but they never actually left lol (think they said that for 2-3 hours without actually leaving). They eventually did saying they'd come meet us later at the club.

So later that evening, we all decided to head to a club. We get there, skip the line because this friend knows the bouncer, get in and start dancing. At first I felt even self-conscious about dancing sober but once the right songs came on I got into it and it was alright. I couldn't approach a single girl though, I just felt all this anxiety and kept thinking I wish I had alcohol so I could be myself lol. Meanwhile the party boy who was drinking was approaching left and right, getting rejected but I admired his balls.

A little later, the 2 girls from the house party show up and start dancing with us, and the hot chatty one was dancing next to me in our circle for about an hour and I just could not muster the balls to grab her and dance with her in front of my new friends lol. My thoughts "If I get rejected, I look like a fool in front of my new friends"... but obviously not true because I've done it plenty in the past with new friends when I've had alcohol in my system. I put my hand on her back here and there, and even grabbed her arm to pull her towards me when someone was trying to pass behind her and she without hesitation came closer which I assume was an ioi but Idk. A friend from my circle eventually took her hand and did the spin dance and danced with her but when he tried to grind she backed off. Still, at least he tried. An hour or two of dancing later, the hot girl comes up to me and tells me "we're gonna be right back, going to the bathroom" and leave. My friends and I moved location after they left, and I saw them come back and saying bye to our 2 other friends (a couple) who were still in that location. I thought maybe it was an ioi that she came back just to say bye, maybe she wanted me to ask for her number or something.

Now I don't know if that girl was interested in me, but I never took my shot; which I'm so pissed about. I've been rejected plenty of times and it doesn't even matter, but I wish I tried to dance with her, kiss her, or even ask her number. Once they left, I didn't even approach any other girls either yet I see my drunk party boy friend still approaching, getting rejected mostly, but persistently going for his.

We leave and party boy is like "let's go hit on some drunk girls for a bit before we leave outside the venue". Again, I approached no one really even though there was girls around. I see him running all over the street talking to one girl to another lol. Eventually I see him get a number and kiss a random girl. I can tell he was in the zone I wanted to be in lol. Anyway, I dipped after that as it was getting late and I needed to be home.

But the whole way home I was beating myself up over this and realize that I'm so alcohol dependant to get in this state. Why was I so in my head about the whole thing? I know I need to not give any fucks, yet I still gave more than plenty. Has anyone done well in clubs without alcohol or do I just need to start drinking when I go out to these places to get my state going? Basically, how do I get out of my own head in these situations? Any other tips/input/etc are welcome too.