A few days ago I met a girl at the bar who was dtf but logistics did not allow a SNL. She's not as attractive as I usually shoot for, but she has all the other personality traits I look for, so I give her a shot. The result is that I am now playing the desired, rather than being the one doing the chasing and I realized this is a perfect opportunity to delve into the psyche of what an attractive girl experiences when you are chasing her. Here's what I've learned so far.

Abundance mentality I truly don't care one way or another if this girl stops talking to me. I take a long time to respond to texts. I allude to seeing her again, but don't give her specific dates when I will see her because I enjoy toying with her. I know she's interested and I'm not worried about losing it.

Raising your own value We're outside a coffee shop and she offers to go inside, wait in line, and refill my water for me. By allowing her to do this and not making a big deal out of it, I am raising my own value and she is giving me higher value. This is a witty, intelligent, borderline cute girl, not some desperate beast behaving this way. Many guys chasing a girl will behave similarly.

Withhold affection I'm not affectionate in public. At most I will go in for a kiss then pull away. This raises sexual tension immensely and caused her to invite me back to her apartment during a day meetup.

Withhold sex Back at her apartment, she's tenuous about an F close. Instead of allowing her pleasure through other avenues, I casually shut down the physical escalation completely and say we should stop and watch TV. She soonafter begs for it.

Although the exact details are slightly different, the principles are the same in the way high value women operate.

How can this girl raise her own value to me and in turn how can you raise your value?

  • Do not play the subordinate (refilling my water for me)
  • Text infrequently and be casually disinterested
  • Raise your own value whenever possible
  • Be in control of yourself sexually. You want it but you certainly dont need it.