[FR] Theory and experience come together in a blindingly obvious way.

I (formerly known as itsNotTheWorldItsYou) went out with TofuTofu a couple of nights ago and I had one of those beloved ah-has. There are things you "know", and then there are things you KNOW. I "know" to always keep the interaction moving forward and always advance it on a high note. I Read it all the time, hear it all the time, think it all the time but for some reason never do it.

So we're sitting a an irish pub and a couple of young cute girls sit a couple tables away from us. Tofu arches an eyebrow and motions for me to open. I put my jacket on the back of the empty chair next to them and ask them to protect it for me. They sort of ignored me the first time so I repeated it and waited for them to acknowledge. I smiled and said thanks. I went to the bathroom and when I got back, thanked them for watching my jacket and asked them if they went through my pockets. That got the interaction going and they were giggling away. I turn back to Tofu and he tells me to tell them to come sit with us. It's almost embarrassing to admit but if I were on my own I wouldn't have done that. I would have just talked to them across the table 2 or three more times until someone sat there or until they got bored and left.

I think back to so many of my interactions with girls where initially they're interacting with me and showing a ton of interest, but because I don't move the interaction forward in any direction they get bored and leave. This was the story of my life for years. It's so simple. Escalate on a high note. Duh. The times I have been successful were when the girl helped the interaction along. If I get an obvious green light then I'm full speed ahead and it goes smoothly. But I tend to err on the side of caution wayyyy too much. When they show a little interest or are neutral then I flounder because I don't push boundaries. This was a step in the right direction.

The rest of the night was fun but not worth writing about. We got them to kiss each other for the camera but they were young and the close would have taken a lot more time and patience than I was willing to expend for them. I called it a night early and took an valuable lesson. props to Tofu on this one.