I have been working on game a couple months. Though concentrating on approaches, my first date comes from periphery of social circle. We had met on 2 or 3 occasions, and by last one could tell she was interested. I got her number, waited until phone call next day to set up date (not ideal, but still worked). Basically, I think the date was going well and I have made improvements for sure, but some personal barriers made things not finish well.

I show up at meeting place 5 min late. She's not there, I start a conversation with guy at bar. She shows up, I tease her for actually showing up. I get us drinks. I lead to the side of patio, pick a small circular table. Sit at 90 deg, I keep leaned back most of the time with some back of palm touching gestures. She does a lot of talking, seems ok with delving into topics, so I don't change threads as much. By time I feel ready to bounce, she still is only halfway through drink. Later, she says she's going to restroom, I suggest we head to place I mentioned earlier after she's done.

We walk over there, I give my arm as escort, she accepts with just her hand, but takes away about 15 seconds later as I space is limited. We get to the door and we both hesitate about going in because its empty (I shoulda just walked in like a boss). But I decide eventually, and order 1 drink for us to share (but she pays). She has fun choosing which couch to take before we settle into one. Almost the whole time we are in more or less same position - I leaning back in couch with legs at slight angle toward her, face facing her during conversation. She has legs crossed, always perpendicular or slightly away from me. I try to ask personal things like what she wants to be doing in the future, her childhood, but these don't lead far. Every now and then she gives me incidental kino back, but I don't push further than putting my arm around with my hand on shoulder a couple minutes. Before we spend too much time there, I say its time to leave.

As we go, she suggests going back to the inside of the first place (with couches) or possibly a place down the street. This is where I lose my cool. I am caught off guard, and I hesitate and say lets try down the street. I then doubt that decision as I don't feel the physical comfort to advance things on this walk. We head back, and I feel I'm losing it and awkwardly with hesitation decide I should head home. We hug and part ways, and I wonder what the heck happened there.

What I learned:

Asking out clearly is important. At some point you have to man up and be direct.

Plan a 2 or 3 part date beforehand and know what you will do.

Her opinion does not matter. If you ask her what she wants to do, even what to drink to some degree, she ask you right back. She wants to be led, so accept in your heart that doing what you want to do is all she expects.

Framing is key. A confident, fun, positive frame attracted her initially. If I kept this frame through the end, my chances would be much better.

Sticking Points:

Reading her – I need to pick up on subtle cues better

Capitalizing Physically – This has always been a personal barrier for me. I wanted to keep the she-chases-me frame, but this prevented me from escalating.

Maintaining Confident Attitude to the End