Hello Seddit, I recently found this subreddit. I apologize, if anything I say has already been discussed.

I recently saw a few people from high school I haven't seen since graduation, 4 years ago, at a 4th of July party. In that group of people was one of the biggest crushes I had all through out high school. She gets really excited when she sees me. I get the biggest hug from her, but she has a boyfriend.

Following week I see her again at another party. I get there late, she's really drunk. She sees me and gives me a hug. But the hug is so long, I was able to make a joke about it, but in a flirty type of way (for a lack of better word).

Later that night, she tells me she had a thing for me back in high school as well, but I was too "cool". So I was a bit shocked, and disappointed. But also happy, and then sad because I remembered she has a boyfriend.

I saw her again last night for the third consecutive weekend at a mutual friends birthday party. I've been really feeling confident about myself lately. Got a good diet, exercise routine, actual life goals and I know how to get there. So Im feeling good, been changing into a more confident person. But last night, although i was feeling very good about myself, I feel I came off more as a jerk. To the point, where I got the girl I mentioned above to get mad at me.

I wasn't trying to be though. Just somethings I said came off kind off asshole-ish, although I didn't mean for them to be. I just always had a clever responsible and an answer to every thing, in hind-sight I might of come off kind of elitist (again for lack of a better word, which only shows how much Im not).

It feel like when you start getting confidence, you could easily become an asshole ( or maybe I'm just weak). But it seems confidence can be like a flame that can easily consume everything around it. But still needs to be fueled to stay alive. The hard seems to be finding the balance between the two.

But what I wanted to ask Seddit was about the girl I keep mentioning. Last night, I blew her off really badly in front of someone else. She was joking around about me being so late, which i know is just friendly flirting. She continues and starts getting old. I tell her; if she's basically going to continue I'm just going to talk to the third person that was with us. His eyes widen, I realize that didn't come off as funny as I thought it would be. She tries to say something mean and clever as she walk off and I just try to play it all as a joke and that I didn't care.

After that, I don't see her for a while, when I do, I make a joke, she smiles and then says Im mean. Joke a little about it and then shes off. Later, we're talking in a group of 4. She's in it and we're laughing and joking around. But then she mentions North Korea and mentions "dictators". I don't think much of it, but then I'm just thinking of the oxymoron of country with numerous dictators. Or even if it is, because I start going into what makes up a dictatorship, all in my head. But then I blurbed out "Dictator". In the middle of me saying it, Im already feeling like a dick. She gives me a face and yells "you would know?!". I make joke about how it is a dick move to do. Then she walks off as she calls me out for being high, out of nowhere but I understand she needed to attack me some how, everyone hates a know it all... (see what I mean)

So she walks off to a different couch. I follow her and mention that I know something is bothering her. I start joking about it, then we start talking, shes obviously annoyed but still being nice. Eventually she's seemed friendly and bit flirty again but that's when the boyfriend started saying bye to people (I've completely forgotten about that guy, barely the saw him the whole night). Her attention diverges and they leave.

On Sunday nights I'm usually at Barnes N Nobles. I was thinking of sending her text, mentioned that I'm usually there from 8-930, that I may be an asshole but not as big of an asshole as I came off as last night. If shes not doing anything, she should come join me and ill make it up to her and get her a coffee. And if she cant, no problem but Ill still be there.

I'm leaving some details out but that's generally where I'm at at the moment. I would appreciate any advice Seddit can give me, or if I should actually invite her tonight.

PS: I know she has a boyfriend, and I respect the relationship, or at least trying to. But I admit, I keep having to remind myself she has a boyfriend. I still think that although she may have a boyfriend now, she may not at some point. So I want to have a keep impression.

TL;DR I was a jerk to a girl I like at a party. Thinking of inviting her to have coffee with me to clear things up... and she has a boyfriend