I posted here a while ago about a friend of mine who hit on the same girl that I liked. You can read the story here

my story

Long story short, that episode is over. My friend got the girl. They ended up hooking up and dated for a couple weeks. She left town so it was just a summer fling.

Not even two months later, history has repeated itself again. The new semester just started. My friend (the same person) and I both live in the dorm. A new girl just moved in. We both take a liking to her. All three of us have gone out to bars together quite a few times.

During the times we hanged out, I always had pretty good banters with the girl, poking fun at her new status and where she is from. I would say things like "if you behave, we will let you join the cool club." I teased her for the things she said whenever I could. She would often playfully kick me when I teased her. I kino'ed as much as possible. I played with her fingers when she jokingly said that she would scratch me to death and showed me her long nails. When we were sitting for dinner, I would deliberately rest my arm next to hers and graze her leg with mine. And she didn't move.

None of these mattered though. I just learned from someone else that my friend hooked up with her already. When I found out, I felt really really bad. I felt my heart was ripped apart. Honestly, I don't think I felt this devastated before. It's not just about the girl. It's kind of a combination of hopelessness and despair. It's the painful knowledge that you did the best you could, the knowledge that all the supposedly-good stuff you did and you thought worked amounted to nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to the other guy who didn't do much except for being good looking. It's the realization that essentially two girls in a row decided that the other guy is superior to you. It's the fear that nothing you ever do will ever work. And yes, it's about the girl too. To a lesser extent, I also felt betrayed by this friend because this time he knows I am interested in her and even encouraged me to pursue her in the beginning.

Although being completely objective, I think my friend perhaps did more than just being good looking. For fear of history repeating, thus for "self-protection" and also wanting to meet other girls at the beginning of the school year, I didn't want to get myself too attached to just this one girl so I didn't JUST hang out with her at the bar, as to avoid putting all my eggs in one basket. Since my friend was always there with us, whenever I left to talk to other people, he and the girl would often end up being by themselves. Basically, he had more time with her in isolation than I did. One night, they left early and went back to the dorm together while I left behind talking to other people.

Perhaps my friend's isolation with the girl was the deciding factor, perhaps I am attributing too much of his success to his looks. They do share the same major and he's quite knowledgeable and talks with a charming British accent. The important thing is that he succeeded in hooking up with the girls I am interested in, twice in a row. I didn't.

I want to shed my limiting beliefs about looks and about Asian guys (I am Asian). I want to believe that the PUA stuff works. I want to believe that I can improve and make this stuff work for me. I don't want to give up. But what happened recently is making it really really difficult for me. I feel hopeless and broken.

I would really appreciate your help! Any encouragement, any extra motivation, any mistake I should have avoided and anything I can improve upon. I feel like giving up but I don't want to.

Edit: thanks for all of your valuable input! I really appreciate it! Keep them coming!