The Number Close

Had learnt a bit of pickup whilst abroad recently. Was a bit nervous about applying what I knew in my home country so met up with some guys off of PUAforum and went out with them. Didn't make many approaches but did meet one girl who both caught my fancy and who I managed to close. Perhaps a HB7 looks-wise but HB8 with personality. Made sure not to rush the interaction and built up a little rapport before going for the close. Probably took around 10 or 15 minutes. Very light kino but not much. I think finding common interests (living abroad) probably helped create a bit of a hook. Closed by asking if she fancied going for a coffee sometime and made sure to talk to her friend too whilst she was putting her number in my phone. I sent her a text saying it was nice meeting her and to enjoy her night when I was on my way home.

The Date

A week or so later (she went away for a while) we met up at a bar. Not a lot of text game prior to meeting, pretty much just arranging some time to meet. I was the one giving suggestions, then it was just a case of sorting out a good time. Went to a bar which I liked: slightly too loud but audible, and fairly empty that night. Sat opposite each other and just chatting. I think one of the things I'm fairly good at is building comfort. I think that's from just being relaxed and not seeming like I'm nervous, and by keeping the conversation going by commenting on what she says with the result of her talking the most. Also, I made to keep my focus OFF having sex. I told myself stuff like "no matter what happens, tonight is a pretty good night" and praised myself whenever I noticed something going well to keep myself motivated and relaxed.

After about an hour or so I asked if she fancied moving on to somewhere else. As we left I started kino: leading her by her lower back. At first I was a little unconfident about it and took my hand away a few times but after that she got her hand round my back and we walked along like that. Went to somewhere a bit quiter. Got her to buy the round as I bought the last one. Pretty much "it's your round now, right" or something like that. Sat next to her this time but can't remember if I kinoed her knee much or not.

After a drink I asked if she fancied a cup of tea and a movie. Suggested her place first as I knew it was closer (already scouted logistics) but instead we opted for mine. Walked to mine elbow-in-elbow. Made a cup of tea, went and sat in my room. Didn't bother attempting to put a film on, just sat drinking tea and chatting. Let the comfort build but also kinoed a little. Pretty much just touching legs and cuddling whilst chatting. Rolled over and started making out after she'd finished her tea. No questions, just looked in her eyes pulled her chin to me and went for it.

Escalation

The escalation was pretty tough. During it I found out she had the belief that it's wrong to have sex on the first date. I also found out the main reason for this is that she thought I'd lose respect for her if she did. On discussion I "casually" let it slip that I'd had sex on the first date three times already.

Prior to that I escalated pretty much like the DiCarlo Ladder. Backed off when I met resistance. Later I remember Strauss talking about completely stopping when she said stop. Started doing that and it worked pretty well. Couldn't get my hand on her ass so decided to "give up" and suggest going to sleep. Offered her some pajamas which basically got her to get dressed into something looser without any effort on my part. Gave her privacy whilst she changed by going down to the bathroom.

As I said, it was a slow escalation and I think the main change occurred when she felt more comfortable about me not losing respect for her. Also, I was very persistent. She said stop A LOT, but of course not the kind of if-you-carry-on-then-its-rape stop. Again, actually stopping everything worked really well. After she told me about the respect thing I said "fine, no sex tonight". After trying to escalate again I cockily said that it doesn't mean we can't do other stuff. Eventually, success. I started fingering her and with some pretty good technique she was telling me she wanted me. Of course, I took the opportunity to tease her with "no sex tonight" before eventually reaching for a condom.

TL;DR

  • Build rapport prior to number closing. It makes flaking less likely. She still wanted to meet me after a week of us first meeting with hardly any texting.
  • Don't rush the kino and keep a mindset of not wanting sex so that you're subconsciously less threatening and more relaxed.
  • If you didn't manage to find a hook to reel her in, asking if she fancies a cup of tea works fine, if not better.
  • Some LMR can be due to her not wanting you to lose respect for her
  • Be persistent if her "stop" doesn't seem too serious.
  • Changing into pajamas, going to bed and turning the lights off might improve your chances if you're struggling to escalate.
  • Good fingering ⇒ wanting your penis ⇒ tease her by saying she can't have it ⇒ awesome sex.