I wake up, it's early, pop in the shower, trim my beard, put on sunblock, I got a date today! I'm going to a hay maze and pumpkin patch with my mom... Ok, I've gone on better dates. But first things first, the dentist for my chipped front tooth. Dressed in rags I drive sleepily over the the office and walk inside. There to my surprise is a dolled out HB-8 sitting across the counter. "Do you have and appointment?" "why yes I do! Its under Atthewedding, Drunk Atthewedding." hey if James bond does it, I probably should."So while I'm standing there at the front desk, updating my medical history I start internalizing the situation. ('cold sores - no') Shit she is hot! ('allergies - no') Way out of my league ('broken bones - no') I look like shit ('bloody stools - ') I'm not even that into her ('pregnant - no?') Stop being such a pussy piece of shit and hit on her you fucking fucktard! ('birth control - ...') She is talking to the other secretary. I stare at her strait in the eyes, a smirk on my face, she stares back. My smirk widens the stare is becomming akward, but neither one of us is backing down. fantastic exhilleration rushes over me, I'm going to with this, don't even try! Deep purring voice, cracked teeth showing, "Male birth control pills are nearly here. Talk about evening the playing field..." her eyes shoot down in a laugh "now you guys are going to know how it feels!" I use the opportunity to get my eyes back to the computer ('birth control - no') "So are you going to use them?" never tearing my eyes from the screen "woa woa, I'm more traditional... Sortof" giggles hehe nice. Back to work sign this sign that, what are you doing?!? Close! Close! And old lady walks up and starts chatting, something about dentures. Damn! My moment... Time to flip to logistics! Reflection off the screen: no line. Old lady: frail legs about to give out. Good, I just need to wait it out. I never knew how complicated patient privacy laws were! But then the terrible happened, 4 more screens of bull shit, a car pulls up, the lady sits down. Time to finish this SOB off! Sign, sign sign SIGN!!! I step in front of the man walking into the door. Pause, turn slowly... Slow smile, look into her eyes "Want to grab lunch sometime?" "Sure!!" Swap numbers, go in fix teeth come out, then it hits me... I'm going to see this girl on the way out >_< terror rushes over me. Play it cool, wedding play it cool! A number is just and open door, time to not close it! I start joking around with the dentist, And burst out of the office deep in hilarious conversation! "It was nice to meet you ladey, I'll give you a call" "Its Ladie! Not ladey!". shrugged she liked it. Time to get some motha fuckin' pumpkins!

TL;DR went to dentist, got hot girls number. Forgot her name, but social proof pulled me through. never thought I had it in me!

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